Monday, 5 September 2016

The United States of America and Japan say Brexit is a joke

More or less. Yes, that's what our American and Japanese friends are saying. The Americans aren't in any rush to do special trade deals with us, and the Japanese say they might have to pull all of their firms out of the United Kingdom and move them to mainland Europe. 'But we've got control!' Er, yeah. / And in other (related) news, Theresa May, our new prime minister - uh, chosen by a few Tory MPs, not the voters - still reckons Brexit means Brexit, although there probably won't be any extra money for the NHS and immigration may stay the same. 'Ha! Everyone's laughing at us, boss!' Well, two things about that, Voice. Firstly, no one is laughing at you. You're not British. You're just some disembodied voice from the astral plane. For all I know, you could be a Native American spirit guide from the Old West. Which would be fine by me, you dig? I happen to love those guys. I remember - 'What about the second thing, boss?' Oh, okay. Secondly, Voice, no one is laughing at me. I didn't vote for Brexit, man. I knew what it would mean. And I don't even care for the European Union or anything. I just don't happen to be insane.

Christ! The whole thing is a mess. The country is running towards a cliff edge. Everyone can see the edge of the cliff. And yet no one in a position of power will say: "Hey, guys, let's not commit suicide like this, eh? Life is too precious." / Jesus H.! [Save me!] Malibu is looking more attractive by the day. Obviously, I need the money first ... 'Ha!' Shut up!


Anything else? Well, well ... / My life? Personally, you mean? [You can control what's inside.] Oh, another fresh start, my friend(s), another infamous fresh start. No, I don't care. You can always make a fresh start. Life, life, life ... is beautiful when you make the effort. 'Are you drunk, Mikey?' This early in the morning? Ha! I wish! No, no, no. [Everything is falling apart outside.] NOW, right(!) ... I've got work to do. Let's get busy!