Monday, 29 May 2017

Bubbles deVere is expanding!

Well, well ... / That's good news, ain't it, dear reader(s)? 'Is this another PR email, boss?' Yes, Voice. So? 'Well, you've done a lot of these Bubbles ones ...' Well, okay, I'll pack them in, but, BUT(!) ... this one is rather important, man. 'Oh.' The bubble is expanding!

One of the world's largest independent financial services organizations is to "extensively expand and develop" its operations across Western Europe with a new regional boss, it has today been revealed.

Er, today ... 'When did you get the email?' Uh, four days ago. 'Okay. So it's not today, is it? That's something they've got wrong, right at the beginning. Christ!' Don't blame them, Voice. It's not their fault. Well, it might be their fault. They didn't send it until the end of last week. Never mind.

The move is part of the conclusions reached by the company-wide Strategic Review of its global business operation that began in March. It is expected to be finalized within a week. The company will, once completed, provide a full and comprehensive breakdown of its findings.

Okay. What does Nigel say?

Bubbles deVere Group founder and Chief Executive, Nigel Green, comments: "One of the decisions we have made, based on the Strategic Review of our corporate structure and operating units is to extensively expand and develop our already solid position across Western Europe. This expansion and development of the region is now a major priority for the organization for the rest of 2017 and beyond. We're set to shake-up the Western Europe market place. Of that, I am confident."

He's confident. 'Bloody hell, boss!' Yeah, I know. This is some serious shit, man. Big time.

"Underscoring our commitment to this move, we're committing extra investment and resources to Western Europe. This will include expanding our existing bases in Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland and Italy and opening at least two more offices in the region. Of course, this will create a raft of new and extremely rewarding career opportunities for talented advisers to work within a growing, responsible organization."

Raft? As long as it ain't the Raft of the Medusa. 'Ha!' No, it won't be. / Now, uh ... does Nigel continue? 'He seems the sort.' Let's see ...

He continues: "To head up this exciting new era in the region is my son, James, who has successfully led teams of senior wealth advisers in some of our most competitive areas across the Middle East and India in recent years. He is also a highly skilled wealth and investment manager in his own right who has deVere's 'client-first' culture in his DNA."

In his DNA. Fair enough. Well, that's it. 'Hang on, boss!' What, Voice? 'Our Nigel is going on ... to say.' You're kidding! 'Nope.' Jesus! All right.

Nigel Green goes on to say: "The decision is partly fuelled by three key factors: First, the increasingly buoyant economy in Western Europe; second, the increasing demand from the growing number of expats and international investors who are relocating there and who need specialist cross-border financial advice; and third to help close the 'advice black hole' that exists due to many advisers exiting the market due to high operating costs and to them routinely rejecting clients who aren't deemed 'high-net-worth enough'."

Okay, okay, okay. Okay. And is that it?! Please tell me - 'Ha!' Oh, for fuck's sake!

The Bubbles deVere CEO concludes: "In short, Western Europe represents an enormous opportunity for growth for the company and we intend to explore this to the maximum. When the Strategic Review was launched in March, Nigel Green (?!?!?!), said: As we move into our fifteenth year, and still dominating the international advisory sector, we have recently embarked on a strategic review of not only our corporate structures but also our operating units. The process which we've now begun will allow us to take a bird's eye view perspective of where we need to go as a business in order to maintain and expand on our market-leading position. It will enable us as a business to see in which areas and markets we need to reduce our presence, where we should invest and develop more quickly and in more depth, and with which products and services. The Strategic Review will, no doubt, result in a comprehensive period of restructuring."

?!?!?! - !!! / That's it now. 'Thank God!' NO MORE BUBBLES DEVERE GROUP EMAILS FOR A WHILE. I think we all need a break, reader(s).

Right, lunch, soon. Then No. 516. 'Yippee!' Laters.