Yes, dear reader(s), it's, uh ... a new fund. Some sort of event-driven equity fund, or so they say. 'They?' Yeah. He's been preparing it for a few months now. It will probably launch in a couple of weeks, I don't know. 'Who?! What?! Boss, what is this all about?' Metrica Partners. 'And who's been preparing it?!' Oh, Damian Edwards. He used to be a managing director at Royal Bank of Canada, but now he's got his own thing going on, his own fund. 'Oh.' Good luck to him! That's what I say. 'Who said that?' Er, me. Good luck to him! That was me, Voice. 'Oh.' Christ!
Well, well ... / Anyway, it's in Singapore, this fund. It's going to be investing in Japan and Hong Kong. And it has $25 million in assets under management, which isn't very much at all. 'Is it his own money, boss?' I've no idea, Voice. But I'm pretty sure our Damian will want more than that. 'Give him time.' Well, let's see how it goes, man. We shouldn't judge him too soon. 'No.' Maybe someone will give him more money. 'Like who?!' I don't know. Some investor.
...
Anything else? Politics? Jesus H. - ! Theresa May? She was ranting and raving outside 10 Downing Street yesterday, like a pound shop Donald Trump. 'Ha!' Bloody Brexit again! It was so embarrassing, reader(s). I had to watch it through my fingers. Oh, my dear foreign readers: we're not all like that, you know, us Brits. Some of us are quite normal. / It's funny. I used to look at David Cameron and George Osborne and shake my head. But now I look at them and think: Wow! They were statesmen. 'Ha!' That's the thing about conservatism. You think you've seen the very worst of it, and then another total fucking idiot comes along and says, "Hold my beer!"
...
What else? Music? What am I listening to? I ain't got nothing on, so ... / My music? 'Ha!' Shut up! Well, the same old thing, I suppose. Just strumming the guitar and singing and that. I haven't got any news, really. So ...
Laters, yeah?
Well, well ... / Anyway, it's in Singapore, this fund. It's going to be investing in Japan and Hong Kong. And it has $25 million in assets under management, which isn't very much at all. 'Is it his own money, boss?' I've no idea, Voice. But I'm pretty sure our Damian will want more than that. 'Give him time.' Well, let's see how it goes, man. We shouldn't judge him too soon. 'No.' Maybe someone will give him more money. 'Like who?!' I don't know. Some investor.
...
Anything else? Politics? Jesus H. - ! Theresa May? She was ranting and raving outside 10 Downing Street yesterday, like a pound shop Donald Trump. 'Ha!' Bloody Brexit again! It was so embarrassing, reader(s). I had to watch it through my fingers. Oh, my dear foreign readers: we're not all like that, you know, us Brits. Some of us are quite normal. / It's funny. I used to look at David Cameron and George Osborne and shake my head. But now I look at them and think: Wow! They were statesmen. 'Ha!' That's the thing about conservatism. You think you've seen the very worst of it, and then another total fucking idiot comes along and says, "Hold my beer!"
...
What else? Music? What am I listening to? I ain't got nothing on, so ... / My music? 'Ha!' Shut up! Well, the same old thing, I suppose. Just strumming the guitar and singing and that. I haven't got any news, really. So ...
Laters, yeah?
