Wednesday, 10 May 2017

I've been invited to this global market outlook thing ...

I'm not much in the mood for writing about finance this morning, dear reader(s). 'Oh, why not, boss?' It's a nice sunny day, man. I should be in the park, goofing off with the Aviva Investors crowd, but ... I'm stuck here, writing this.

Good afternoon,

Eh? It's the fucking morning, mate!

We'd be delighted if you could join us for breakfast on Tuesday 6th June at 8.45am (for a 9.00am start) for State Street's mid-year Global Market Outlook event (full details below).

The theme of the event will be geopolitics, and the impact that major political developments continue to have on market sentiment in 2017.

Oh, Christ! Whatever.

Tim Graf, head of macro strategy EMEA, for State Street Global Markets, and James Binny, EMEA head of currency at State Street Global Advisors, will identify and discuss the market impact of key geopolitical events and give their views on the significant developments likely to shape the rest of the year, such as:

Yeah, such as what?

Give us a chance, man! Such as -

Global market outlook for the second half of the year.

The impending UK general election and the impact on sterling.

Thoughts on the forthcoming German election in September in the wake of the French presidential result.

A review of the US economy under President Trump.

No, I can't make it. Sorry. 'Are you washing your hair?' I wash my hair every morning, so yeah.


Anything else? Politics? I'll do my own review of US politics. 'Great!' The Trump presidency is getting more exciting by the day. It's like one of those airport thrillers you take on holiday. 'Even better than that, Mikey. Most thriller writers don't have the imagination for this shit.' No. / Well, just imagine sacking the head of the FBI because he's getting too close to finding out something! 'Ha! And certain people - excuse me, idiots - were worried about Hilary Clinton using the wrong email account!' Oh, be fair, Voice. She had a nasty cough for a while, too. How can you vote for someone with a nasty cough? Anyway ... / ... / And politics in the UK? Forget about it. I ain't interested.

Well, well ... / Uh, music? My music? I'll probably record those two songs of mine soon because I can play them perfectly now. 'Ha! I should hope so, Mikey. You've only been practicing them exclusively for the last six months.' Well, you know nothing, Voice. Really nothing. I'm like the Karate Kid, man. 'Eh?!' Wax on, wax off, yeah? Six months ago I recorded the other two songs for my new demo because they were easy to play. 'Oh.' And I could play all similar songs then. Easy ones, you dig? But now I can play hard ones too. 'Oh.' Yes - oh!!!! / Wax on. Wax off.