Elton John

Yes, I'm listening to Elton.

Your Song. / His best song. A world-beater for sure! Also, the best scene in the film is when he's composing the music for it.

Rocket Man. / Guess what! Okay, I'll tell you. My first "reliable" memory from childhood was listening to this song on the radio in 1972 when I was three. I had just had my bath on Sunday evening, and the latest charts were playing on Radio One.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. / How many world-beaters does Elton have? It's hard to say. I'm very strict, of course. Maybe four. Your Song, Rocket Man, this one, and ...

Candle In The Wind. / Now, don't get it twisted! I'm not referring to that Princess Diana version. I'm listening to the original version about Marilyn Monroe. FFS!

Blue Eyes. / My favourite song of his. So melancholic, man!

Tiny Dancer. / His best vocal performance, I reckon. I wish I could sing like this. Never mind. We all have different talents. Elton can't write lyrics.

I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues. / Ha! I'm thinking of Max and Paddy's Road To Nowhere when Paddy gets up on the stage to play the harmonica.

Song For Guy. / I used to play this on piano. Not as well as him.

Okay, okay. I suppose I better put Eno's Apollo on.

...

Anything else? Not much, no. / I'm still rehearsing, man. I play my songs the same way every time now. So, I've got consistency in performance at last. Will I record this weekend? Ha! I don't know. All depends on my mental state, don't it?

...

It will be raining next week in St Ives. Er, according to BBC Weather, that is.

In 2010 you could get a room for £25 a night. Now? The cheapest is £60.

Many years ago you could go camping for £1 a night. They want £20 now.

When I was a kid you could buy a Mars Bar for 7p.

The whole world has gone insane.

Good night!

Yesterday, and tomorrow

Dear reader(s), I've got two posts to write, to finish off the week, like. This one, and one later. Both will be about music, maybe, because ... after twelve years I've had enough of finance. / Listen! There ain't no financial crisis no more, UNLESS ... everything in the world is a fucking crisis, which it is, finance, climate change, politics, you name it! But please don't name it! No, no, no. I just want to escape, you dig? And music is my escape.

Right. When I saw Rocketman last week there was a trailer for a new film that's coming soon called Yesterday. The story? Some guy has an accident and he wakes up in a world where The Beatles don't exist, so, uh ... he steals their songs and becomes a big star. It's a decent idea. [A bit similar to the sitcom Goodnight Sweetheart, actually.] It works because great songs are revered and no one seriously expects any future artist or band to write songs that good again ...

Ha! Which makes me think I really need ten world-beaters instead of the five I presently have. And I don't mean ten by the end of a long and successful career, man. No, no, no! That's boring. I mean now, RIGHT NOW!!! Or at least ... by the end of summer?

Oh, Christ! Where's the summer? I'm not going to Cornwall with the weather like this. Yes, it's the end of May. So what?! I want lovely hot summer, and I want it now ... RIGHT NOW!!!

But I digress. As I always do. It's not a crime. / Yes, yes, yes! Ten is the magic number!

Ten would be totally unexpected.

Ten would be outside of normal reality.

But five ... ? Listen, five is very nice. I'm not looking a cosmic gift horse in the mouth. I'm so happy that those songs came to me and not some other schmuck.

Don't think I'm greedy, kook(s). I just need ten. Jesus! If you stepped into my life for one day to see how I was ... well, surviving, you would say to yourself: "What a fucked-up situation! Mikey's gonna need ten of those songs."

But as I say, five is very nice. Five will make me the biggest star in the world for a year or two.

Beyond that? I need ten. I need twenty. I need ... thirty? I'm not going to put a limit on it.

Why should I?

Obviously, no one likes Donald, but ... THINK BIG AND KICK ASS - !!!

Laters.

[No. 712] I'm hiding

Where?

And, well ...[1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![1], and, well ...[2], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![2], and I can't get the voices![1], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by choice, actually, yes[1], and I can't get the voices![2], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some fire - !!!(?)[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by cho ice, actually, yes[2], and ... real passion![1], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f ire - !!!(?)[2], and for all the ones who wander ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[1], and ... real pass ion![2], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[1], and for all the ones who wan der ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[2], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my breath[1], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[2], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![1], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my bre ath[2], and, listen! ... the kooks are all right![1], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![2], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[1], and, listen! ... the k ooks are all right![2], and they get their kicks[1], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[2], and ... you?[1], and they get their k icks[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with broken words we can touch each other[1], and ... you?[2], and if you're happy, ah, let me know[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with bro ken w ords we can t ouch each other[2], and even unbroken words can have a big impact ... if you're clever like me, like[1], and if you're hap py, ah, let me know[2], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bearable, eh?[1], and even unbroken words can have a b ig imp act ... if you're clever like me, like[2], and how much time is there left?[1], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bear able, eh?[2], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[1], and how much time is there left?[2], and you know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[2], and ... 'Great!'[1], and you know ... NOT HING - !!![2], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[1], and ... 'Great!'[2], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one tear because I've come to terms with eternity[1], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![1], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t ear because I've come to terms with eter nity[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![2], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![3], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![3], and I can't get the voices![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by c  h  o  i  c  e, actually, yes[3], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f  i  r  e - !!!(?)[3], and ... real p  a  s  s  i  o  n![3], and for all the ones who w  a  n  d  e  r ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[3], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[3], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my b  r  e  a  t  h[3], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![3], and, listen! ... the k  o  o  k  s are all right![3], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[3], and they get their k  i  c  k  s[3], and ... you?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with b  r  o  k  e  n w  o  r  d  s we can t  o  u  c  h each other[3], and if you're h  a  p  p  y, ah, let me know[3], and even unbroken words can have a b  i  g i  m  p  a  c  t ... if you're clever like me, like[3], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more b  e  a  r  a  b  l  e, eh?[3], and how much time is there left?[3], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[3], and you know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and ... 'Great!'[3], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[3], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t  e  a  r because I've come to terms with e  t  e  r  n  i  t  y[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![3], and

And, well ...[1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![1], and, well ...[2], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![2], and I can't get the voices![1], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by choice, actually, yes[1], and I can't get the voices![2], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some fire - !!!(?)[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by cho ice, actually, yes[2], and ... real passion![1], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f ire - !!!(?)[2], and for all the ones who wander ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[1], and ... real pass ion![2], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[1], and for all the ones who wan der ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[2], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my breath[1], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[2], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![1], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my bre ath[2], and, listen! ... the kooks are all right![1], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![2], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[1], and, listen! ... the k ooks are all right![2], and they get their kicks[1], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[2], and ... you?[1], and they get their k icks[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with broken words we can touch each other[1], and ... you?[2], and if you're happy, ah, let me know[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with bro ken w ords we can t ouch each other[2], and even unbroken words can have a big impact ... if you're clever like me, like[1], and if you're hap py, ah, let me know[2], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bearable, eh?[1], and even unbroken words can have a b ig imp act ... if you're clever like me, like[2], and how much time is there left?[1], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bear able, eh?[2], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[1], and how much time is there left?[2], and you know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[2], and ... 'Great!'[1], and you know ... NOT HING - !!![2], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[1], and ... 'Great!'[2], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one tear because I've come to terms with eternity[1], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![1], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t ear because I've come to terms with eter nity[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![2], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![3], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![3], and I can't get the voices![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by c  h  o  i  c  e, actually, yes[3], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f  i  r  e - !!!(?)[3], and ... real p  a  s  s  i  o  n![3], and for all the ones who w  a  n  d  e  r ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[3], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[3], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my b  r  e  a  t  h[3], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![3], and, listen! ... the k  o  o  k  s are all right![3], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[3], and they get their k  i  c  k  s[3], and ... you?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with b  r  o  k  e  n w  o  r  d  s we can t  o  u  c  h each other[3], and if you're h  a  p  p  y, ah, let me know[3], and even unbroken words can have a b  i  g i  m  p  a  c  t ... if you're clever like me, like[3], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more b  e  a  r  a  b  l  e, eh?[3], and how much time is there left?[3], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[3], and you know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and ... 'Great!'[3], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[3], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t  e  a  r because I've come to terms with e  t  e  r  n  i  t  y[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![3], and

And, well ...[1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![1], and, well ...[2], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![1], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![2], and I can't get the voices![1], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by choice, actually, yes[1], and I can't get the voices![2], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some fire - !!!(?)[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by cho ice, actually, yes[2], and ... real passion![1], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f ire - !!!(?)[2], and for all the ones who wander ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[1], and ... real pass ion![2], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[1], and for all the ones who wan der ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[2], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my breath[1], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[2], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![1], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my bre ath[2], and, listen! ... the kooks are all right![1], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![2], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[1], and, listen! ... the k ooks are all right![2], and they get their kicks[1], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[2], and ... you?[1], and they get their k icks[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with broken words we can touch each other[1], and ... you?[2], and if you're happy, ah, let me know[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with bro ken w ords we can t ouch each other[2], and even unbroken words can have a big impact ... if you're clever like me, like[1], and if you're hap py, ah, let me know[2], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bearable, eh?[1], and even unbroken words can have a b ig imp act ... if you're clever like me, like[2], and how much time is there left?[1], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more bear able, eh?[2], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[1], and how much time is there left?[2], and you know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[2], and ... 'Great!'[1], and you know ... NOT HING - !!![2], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[1], and ... 'Great!'[2], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one tear because I've come to terms with eternity[1], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![1], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t ear because I've come to terms with eter nity[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![2], and ... a-ROUND here, of course, silly![3], and ... 'I see you, Mikey!' / and, Christ! ... I know you see me, idiot![3], and I can't get the voices![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... one day, there'll be no hiding place - oh, by c  h  o  i  c  e, actually, yes[3], and the COLD WORLD is waiting for, uh, uh ... for some f  i  r  e - !!!(?)[3], and ... real p  a  s  s  i  o  n![3], and for all the ones who w  a  n  d  e  r ... William Blake knew that you were worthless, oh, I'm sorry[3], and ... I'm not that sorry, no, no, no[3], and, hey! ... maybe you should spin a bit of sense into yourselves ... / and I won't hold my b  r  e  a  t  h[3], and a-ROUND ... come on - !!![3], and, listen! ... the k  o  o  k  s are all right![3], and they're a-ROUND ... so often, yes, I know[3], and they get their k  i  c  k  s[3], and ... you?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... can hide with me / and with b  r  o  k  e  n w  o  r  d  s we can t  o  u  c  h each other[3], and if you're h  a  p  p  y, ah, let me know[3], and even unbroken words can have a b  i  g i  m  p  a  c  t ... if you're clever like me, like[3], and if you're smiling, well, I am, too / and let's make life more b  e  a  r  a  b  l  e, eh?[3], and how much time is there left?[3], and a lot of time is wasted / and it just slips away / and the next thing you know ...[3], and you know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and ... 'Great!'[3], and never, never, never, never, never, never ... ... ... ... ... ... mind[3], and I can stare at the night sky, yes, all of it, and not cry one t  e  a  r because I've come to terms with e  t  e  r  n  i  t  y[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, again![3], and

Should I continue to open doors for myself?

That's the big question of the day. I mean, now that I'm a BIG STAR and everything. [Or at least pretending to be.] This is from the Dylan Jones book on David Bowie -

Tony Defries had an extraordinarily effective strategy for turning his client into a genuine star, in both a micro and a macro way. Not only would he start to make it more difficult for anyone, especially journalists, to get close to Bowie, but he encouraged his charge to act in a more imperious, almost regal fashion: what Defries did was to encourage Bowie not to open doors for himself, not to pick anything up if he dropped it, and not to offer help or pass anything. By ignoring door handles, he semaphored that he expected others to open doors for him.

I've edited it a bit, but that's basically it. There's a problem though. I don't actually have a lot of people around me at the moment. If I stop opening doors there's a very good chance I'll become trapped in rooms. 'You've got me, boss.' Yes. But you don't have a physical body, idiot! How are you supposed to open doors for me? 'Good point.' So, I suppose I'll have to wait a while, until things take off, like. 'Oh, by the way, boss ...' What? 'Do you still write about finance? Or is that beneath you now?' Ha, ha! If I'm being honest, Voice, dear reader(s), it probably is beneath me these days.

Oh, I haven't received any PR emails! Maybe tomorrow, you dig?

I've got to write another conceptual later, of course. For my sins. What number am I up to now? 'No. 712, boss.' Okay.

...

Listen! I've been thinking, kook(s). If you really want to be good at something creative: music, painting, writing books, whatever ... you might have to put TEN YEARS into it before you're any good. Yes, it's hard, man. / I imagine we all know people who gave up after six months. That type are ten-a-penny. But how many people give up after four or five years? That's the dangerous time! And with my music it would have been 2016 for me, but I kept on going.

Never, never, never give up! I mean, what else are you going to do? Seriously.

...

Well, well ... well. What else? Anything else? Brexit? 'Ha! Tell them, boss!' Yes, it's, uh ... beneath me, frankly.

Laters!

[No. 711] It's a little bit funny ...

Seriously!

And, well, well[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[1], and, well, well[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[2], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![1], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[2], and please, no, no, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![2], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[1], and please, no, no, no![2], and a-ROUND here ... miracles do happen[1], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[2], and trust me![1], and a-ROUND here ... mirac les d o hap pen[2], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[1], and trust me![2], and don't trust those others[1], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[2], and squares really love to kill with boredom[1], and don't trust those others[2], and, but, we ...[1], and squares really love to kill with boredom[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[1], and, but, we ...[2], and forever, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[2], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[1], and forever, you dig?[2], and I'm obsessed, man![1], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[2], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[1], and I'm obsessed, man![2], and you can come into the reality of it, too[1], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[2], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[1], and you can come into the reality of it, too[2], and ... 'Trust him!'[1], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[2], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[1], and ... 'Trust him!'[2], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[1], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[2], and inside, inside![1], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[2], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[1], and inside, inside![2], and I'm trying my best to ...[1], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[2], and, well, well[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[2], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![3], and please, no, no, no![3], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[3], and a-ROUND here ... m  i  r  a  c  l  e  s d  o h  a  p  p  e  n[3], and trust me![3], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[3], and don't trust those others[3], and squares really love to kill with boredom[3], and, but, we ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[3], and forever, you dig?[3], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[3], and I'm obsessed, man![3], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[3], and you can come into the reality of it, too[3], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[3], and ... 'Trust him!'[3], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[3], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[3], and inside, inside![3], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[3], and

And, well, well[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[1], and, well, well[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[2], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![1], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[2], and please, no, no, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![2], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[1], and please, no, no, no![2], and a-ROUND here ... miracles do happen[1], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[2], and trust me![1], and a-ROUND here ... mirac les d o hap pen[2], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[1], and trust me![2], and don't trust those others[1], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[2], and squares really love to kill with boredom[1], and don't trust those others[2], and, but, we ...[1], and squares really love to kill with boredom[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[1], and, but, we ...[2], and forever, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[2], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[1], and forever, you dig?[2], and I'm obsessed, man![1], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[2], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[1], and I'm obsessed, man![2], and you can come into the reality of it, too[1], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[2], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[1], and you can come into the reality of it, too[2], and ... 'Trust him!'[1], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[2], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[1], and ... 'Trust him!'[2], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[1], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[2], and inside, inside![1], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[2], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[1], and inside, inside![2], and I'm trying my best to ...[1], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[2], and, well, well[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[2], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![3], and please, no, no, no![3], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[3], and a-ROUND here ... m  i  r  a  c  l  e  s d  o h  a  p  p  e  n[3], and trust me![3], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[3], and don't trust those others[3], and squares really love to kill with boredom[3], and, but, we ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[3], and forever, you dig?[3], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[3], and I'm obsessed, man![3], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[3], and you can come into the reality of it, too[3], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[3], and ... 'Trust him!'[3], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[3], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[3], and inside, inside![3], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[3], and

And, well, well[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[1], and, well, well[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[2], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![1], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[2], and please, no, no, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![2], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[1], and please, no, no, no![2], and a-ROUND here ... miracles do happen[1], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[2], and trust me![1], and a-ROUND here ... mirac les d o hap pen[2], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[1], and trust me![2], and don't trust those others[1], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[2], and squares really love to kill with boredom[1], and don't trust those others[2], and, but, we ...[1], and squares really love to kill with boredom[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[1], and, but, we ...[2], and forever, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[2], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[1], and forever, you dig?[2], and I'm obsessed, man![1], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[2], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[1], and I'm obsessed, man![2], and you can come into the reality of it, too[1], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[2], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[1], and you can come into the reality of it, too[2], and ... 'Trust him!'[1], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[2], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[1], and ... 'Trust him!'[2], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[1], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[2], and inside, inside![1], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[2], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[1], and inside, inside![2], and I'm trying my best to ...[1], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[2], and, well, well[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[2], and, uh ... I'm trying my best to laugh[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and all these conceptuals are a little bit funny ... / and when you stop to think, like[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... don't think![3], and please, no, no, no![3], and I reckon ... feeling is the best thing ... when thoughts and words are destroyed in the fire of our passion[3], and a-ROUND here ... m  i  r  a  c  l  e  s d  o h  a  p  p  e  n[3], and trust me![3], and I know that YOU(!), uh ... find it hard to believe / and you've spent too much time in the COLD WORLD[3], and don't trust those others[3], and squares really love to kill with boredom[3], and, but, we ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now we're having the time of our lives[3], and forever, you dig?[3], and, yes, eternity is in our minds ... / and how many of these conceptual things are even necessary?[3], and I'm obsessed, man![3], and one day ... I'll be torn away from here to take fire to that COLD WORLD I loathe[3], and you can come into the reality of it, too[3], and, oh ... are YOU(!) laughing yet? / and it ain't easy, I know, I know, I know[3], and ... 'Trust him!'[3], and, listen, my kook(s)! ... I know that life is tragic, but, but, BUT(!) ... we can do magic[3], and a positive attitude is all you need / and, well ... it's one thing you need, anyway[3], and inside, inside![3], and you don't want to look ... to see what's outside[3], and I'm trying my best to ...[3], and

KaiOS - !!!

Okay, okay. It's all KaiOS, KaiOS, KaiOS - !!! Apparently. But not chaos magic, you'll be glad to hear.

Hong Kong, 22 May 2019 - KaiOS Technologies, maker of KaiOS, the leading mobile operating system for smart feature phones, announced today $50 million in a Series B funding round led by Cathay Innovation, with continued participation from Kai's existing shareholders Google and TCL Holdings. To date, more than 100 million devices running on KaiOS have been shipped, enabling digital transformation in over 100 countries. This investment from Cathay Innovation and other industry leaders will further strengthen Kai's leadership position in the rapidly growing smart feature phone segment.

Yeah, yeah. This is, uh ... a PR email from last week, dear reader(s). 'Haven't you got any new ones, boss?' Er, this is a very nice one, Voice, and it's a bank holiday today, so, uh ... NO!!! is the short answer. And I don't know what I'll write about tomorrow morning. 'Music?' Christ! This is a finance blog, son.

With this Series B, Kai plans to expand into new markets, and to invest in product portfolio research and development. It will also enable Kai to mature its ecosystem by accelerating the growth of the KaiOS developer community.

Fair enough. But what does Sebastien say? 'Sebastien?!' That's right.

"Our mission is to open up new possibilities for individuals, organizations, and society by bringing mobile connectivity to the billions of people without internet in emerging markets, as well as providing those in established markets with an alternative to smartphones," said Sebastien Codeville, CEO of KaiOS Technologies. "We achieve this by collaborating closely with our business partners, enabling them to transform their business models with exciting new products and offerings, especially for first-time internet users. This Series B round allows us to accelerate these efforts and increase the impact we can make in societies around the world, one phone at a time."

Okay, okay. And Denis?

"KaiOS is already the third mobile OS globally and one of the most impactful tech startups in the world. It has the potential to transform the lives of billions of people by giving them access to the internet for the first time. We are proud to join KaiOS' fantastic investor base and to lead this round to support the company's next phase of rapid expansion. We look forward to leveraging our global platform and ecosystem to help accelerate KaiOS' growth in new markets," said Denis Barrier, Co-Founder and CEO of Cathay Innovation.

Thanks, Denis!

...

Anything else? Anything else - ?!?!?! Yeah, big time. Listen to this! [I mean, read it.] The old Michael Fowke is dead. Long live the new Michael Fowke! 'What are you going on about?' I saw that Rocketman film on Friday. You know, the film about Elton John. [The first time I've been to the cinema in five years.] Well, in the film, someone gives Elton - actually, Reginald - advice. They say - To become a star you've got to kill the person you were born to be, and become, uh ... the person you want to be. Or something like that. Something along those lines, you dig? That's what I'm doing now. From today. David Bowie did it as well, according to Dylan Jones in that book of his. 'I give it a week, boss.' You give what a week, you little cretin?! 'A week from now, you'll be your normal self again, depressed about something or other.' Ha! I didn't say I wouldn't be depressed, Voice. Stars get depressed. Elton took an overdose of pills at one of his parties and jumped into a swimming pool in front of all his guests. But he did it as a fucking star, man! A star is a star. Full stop!

So, I'm going to stop listening to the Vance/Musk audiobook, and all self-help audiobooks. I don't need them no more. I've got great songs. My performing skills are really close to what I need. I've got a new life. I'm a new person! I'm nearly there, Voice, kook(s).

Oh, oh ... also, in the film, you see the importance of great songs. There's a scene where Elton is composing the music to Bernie Taupin's Your Song lyric, and everyone is amazed.

Maybe I'll record this week and then go off to Cornwall to celebrate ... ? However, I won't jump into the sea like Bodhi.

Laters!

I'm playing music ...

I mean, come on ... it's the last post of the week, ain't it? And you can't expect me to write about finance all the time, dear reader(s). I'm not a mug.

Angel Eyes. Frank Sinatra. / From the most depressing album ever recorded. I'm not depressed though. I'm just saying.

Let's Stay Together. Al Green. / This profession is filled to the brim with unrealistic bloggers. Bloggers who thought their ass would age like wine. Well, mine has, actually. Ha!

Life Goes On. 2Pac. / Melancholic thug life. I'm not melancholic though. I'm just saying. I'm rather happy tonight. For no particular reason, obviously.

Nightrain. Guns N' Roses. / I'll get to Cornwall soon, hopefully.

True To Life. Roxy Music. / Luxury music!

Summertime. Sam Cooke. / This song has been recorded, uh ... billions of times! But this is the best version.

Unfinished Sympathy. Massive Attack. / It's not the same without the video, man.

Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues. Bob Dylan. / From his golden period, 1965-66.

Love To Love You Baby. Donna Summer. / Hot - !!!

La Bamba. Ritchie Valens. / Have you seen the film about him? It's pretty good.

I Found A Reason. The Velvet Underground. / Lovely atmosphere!

Consider Yourself. Written by Lionel Bart. / He used to write his songs without an instrument because he couldn’t play. I’ve done two tunes that way in the last two days. [They still need working on.] Just in my head, like. Which is a new thing for me. / Should I write a musical? I wrote four plays years ago. I suppose they weren't all that, but I could do better now. Just throw in a few songs and you've got a musical! The good thing is, musicals, like concerts, are internet proof. You can make a lot of money if you have a hit. Oh, I don't know. It's a silly idea, really.

Okay, okay. It's time for ... [drum roll] ... Brian Eno's Apollo. Nice!

...

Well, well, kook(s) ... the end of another week. This is always tough for me because now I've got to find the energy to put into my music. I play all week, of course, but when the blogging is over I've got to step it up or ... goof off.

I'm still not like Elon yet. Work ethic and that. It doesn't matter. He's not like me. I'm the one with the Caesarean personality, remember.

Never mind. It takes all sorts to make a world.

Laters!

The New York Triangle

Okay, okay. / Well, this is disturbing, dear reader(s). Apparently, there's this triangle thing in New York where ships and planes are disappearing, and aliens in the triangle are abducting people and doing scientific experiments on them, no doubt. 'Where are you getting this from, boss?' It's a PR email, Voice. 'Really? Who from? David Icke?!' Ha! No, no. From my friends at TNS. Look -

Hi Michael

Please find below a press release regarding an exciting upgrade we are making to our network capacity to include dark fiber connectivity in the New York Triangle. If you would like further information or to speak to someone at TNS please do not hesitate to contact me using the details at the bottom of this email.

You see, Voice? 'Er ... they're talking about an upgrade to their network capacity.' Yes, that's right. In the New York Triangle. 'Why do they need a network in the triangle?' Christ! To communicate with the aliens, silly! To find out their demands.

May 21, 2019 - Transaction Network Services (TNS) has significantly upgraded and expanded its network capacity to include dark fiber connectivity in the strategically important New York Triangle, giving traders ultra-high-speed access to market data and TNS' financial community of interest.

So, uh ... it's traders that want to do deals with the aliens. Fair enough. 'They haven't mentioned any aliens, boss.' Oh, God! Just read between the lines, man. They're not going to come out and say: "Aliens!" ... are they? I mean, listen to Stefano -

Stefano Durdic, Managing Director of TNS' Financial Services business, said: "We are excited to bring the benefits of terabit capacity to the trading community. Over the last few years, there has been an explosion in the demand for and availability of market data, which will continue to grow for years to come. Our enhanced network capacity is something a proprietary trading firm or hedge fund might have built themselves. However, TNS brings the benefit of the capacity being delivered by a managed services provider. TNS guarantees that bandwidth will be available and ensures optimal market data delivery with support for the numerous, varied and growing amounts of raw data feeds that are emerging."

Unbelievable! Why can't he tell the truth for once in his life?! Aliens are taking over! They're sucking the bloody blood out of us!

I give up! I really do.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Yeah. I'm a bit pissed off. Why didn't I go to St Ives this week? The weather has been lovely. I'll tell you why, kook(s). 'Ha!' It's because BBC Weather can't predict the fucking weather to save their lives, that's why! I swear they just look out of the window every now and then, and think: "Oh, it looks like it might rain. I better put some rain symbols on the website." Absolutely pathetic!

Oh, the best weather I ever had in St Ives? Let me tell you. A week in the summer of 2002. And another week in the summer of 2010. It was really hot the whole time during both holidays with full sunshine and not one cloud in the sky. Beautiful! When it's like that, man, well ... it's got to be better than Malibu. Seriously. Of course, it's rarely like that.

Oh, in 2010 ... I made the tragic mistake of walking on the coastal path from St Ives to Zennor, and without water. 'Ha!' Yeah. I told myself it's only four or five miles. 'Ha! Up and down cliffs.' Exactly! By the time I reached Zennor, I was like a Legionnaire in one of those old movies. Water! Water! I almost had to crawl into the pub on my hands and knees. 'Ha!' I had a Coke, by the way.

Laters.

[No. 710] When we're in Malibu ...

I won't let you leave.

And it's paradise![1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[1], and it's paradise![2], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[2], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[1], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[2], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[1], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[2], and one day, or ...[1], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[2], and, or, or, OR - !!![1], and one day, or ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![1], and, or, or, OR - !!![2], and nothing is impossible[1], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![2], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[1], and nothing is impossible[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[1], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[2], and ... I know that you love to spin[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[2], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[1], and ... I know that you love to spin[2], and I see us! We are ... rolling, rolling, rolling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[1], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[2], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I see us! We are ... r olling, r olling, r olling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[2], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[1], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[1], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[2], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[1], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[2], and it's a very good point[1], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[2], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![1], and it's a very good point[2], and The Thrills, yes[1], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![2], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![1], and The Thrills, yes[2], and London is a city, son[1], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![2], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[1], and London is a city, son[2], and it's paradise![3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[2], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[3], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[3], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[3], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[3], and one day, or ...[3], and, or, or, OR - !!![3], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![3], and nothing is impossible[3], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[3], and ... I know that you love to spin[3], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[3], and I see us! We are ... r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[3], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[3], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[3], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[3], and it's a very good point[3], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![3], and The Thrills, yes[3], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![3], and London is a city, son[3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[3], and

And it's paradise![1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[1], and it's paradise![2], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[2], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[1], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[2], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[1], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[2], and one day, or ...[1], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[2], and, or, or, OR - !!![1], and one day, or ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![1], and, or, or, OR - !!![2], and nothing is impossible[1], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![2], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[1], and nothing is impossible[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[1], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[2], and ... I know that you love to spin[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[2], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[1], and ... I know that you love to spin[2], and I see us! We are ... rolling, rolling, rolling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[1], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[2], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I see us! We are ... r olling, r olling, r olling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[2], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[1], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[1], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[2], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[1], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[2], and it's a very good point[1], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[2], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![1], and it's a very good point[2], and The Thrills, yes[1], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![2], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![1], and The Thrills, yes[2], and London is a city, son[1], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![2], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[1], and London is a city, son[2], and it's paradise![3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[2], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[3], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[3], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[3], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[3], and one day, or ...[3], and, or, or, OR - !!![3], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![3], and nothing is impossible[3], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[3], and ... I know that you love to spin[3], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[3], and I see us! We are ... r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[3], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[3], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[3], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[3], and it's a very good point[3], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![3], and The Thrills, yes[3], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![3], and London is a city, son[3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[3], and

And it's paradise![1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[1], and it's paradise![2], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[1], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[2], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[1], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[2], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[1], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[2], and one day, or ...[1], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[2], and, or, or, OR - !!![1], and one day, or ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![1], and, or, or, OR - !!![2], and nothing is impossible[1], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![2], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[1], and nothing is impossible[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[1], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[2], and ... I know that you love to spin[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[2], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[1], and ... I know that you love to spin[2], and I see us! We are ... rolling, rolling, rolling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[1], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[2], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I see us! We are ... r olling, r olling, r olling ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[2], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[1], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[1], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[2], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[1], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[2], and it's a very good point[1], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[2], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![1], and it's a very good point[2], and The Thrills, yes[1], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![2], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![1], and The Thrills, yes[2], and London is a city, son[1], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![2], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[1], and London is a city, son[2], and it's paradise![3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[2], and, you, you, YOU(!) ... can come with me[3], and life can be so miserable, ah, shivering alone / and let's put a stop to all that shit, you dig?[3], and on the beach, staring at the sea ...[3], and under the sun, and under the moon / and not even knowing which is which ...[3], and one day, or ...[3], and, or, or, OR - !!![3], and a-ROUND here ... now - ?! / and we can make it happen with our magical wills - !!![3], and nothing is impossible[3], and, oh, oh ... I know that you've got a great imagination[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and picture it in your, uh ... mind[3], and ... I know that you love to spin[3], and this is heaven, yes, definitely not hell[3], and I see us! We are ... r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g, r  o  l  l  i  n  g ... in hot sand, hot astral sand, and ... ?[3], and ... AND - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and that will be the last thing I remember and ... I will die a happy man, man[3], and ... 'Ha! You're a fantasist, Mikey'[3], and, FFS! ... at least I'm not a cold earth wanderer / and ... 'Good point!'[3], and it's a very good point[3], and so much for the city! / and we don't need it, and we don't want it, kook(s)![3], and The Thrills, yes[3], and ... 'According to Wikipedia, Malibu is a city' / and ... shut the fuck up, Voice, please![3], and London is a city, son[3], and I'm getting away, am away, so ooo GONE(!)[3], and

Robot cats

Or something. I don't know what’s going on. I haven't even read it properly. 'Read what, boss?' The PR email, Voice. Uh. I've got things on my mind, man. I'm thinking about Cornwall. I'm thinking about music. I'm not thinking about artificial cats, or intelligent cats, or digital cats, or whatever.

Dear Michael,

Exciting news! Felcana has just announced that it will collaborate with cult café Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium, to help monitor the health and behaviour of rescue cats.

Well, whatever!

Based in Central London, Felcana combines state-of-the-art artificial intelligence, machine learning and veterinary expertise into an integrated digital pet care platform. Felcana's products and apps connect owners with their pets through premium wearables and AI-based technology, giving users on-demand veterinary advice and critical insights into their pet's well-being. Using Felcana, owners can better look after their pets' health.

Christ! Is this necessary? Come on! How have cats survived for millions of years?

Oh, here's the finance bit -

Felcana has just launched a new fundraising campaign on leading equity crowdfunding platform, Seedrs, to raise £80,000. Fresh investment will support Felcana in commercializing their digital pet care platform and in driving revenue through new product sales and commission.

Seedrs? Apparently, my old mate Neil is involved -

Seedrs is backed by star fund manager Neil Woodford, Faber Ventures, Augmentum Fintech PLC (listed on the London Stock Exchange Main Market and Europe's largest listed fintech fund) and over 2,000 of its own customers. Seedrs is authorized and regulated by the UK Financial Conduct Authority.

Okay, okay. Well, I guess I wish them all the best with it. 'Do you, boss?' Of course, Voice! It would be churlish not to. However, I will just ask that question again ...

How have cats survived for millions of years?

ENDS

...

Anything else? Oh, yeah. Listen! I've been thinking that I've been to Cornwall twenty-three times in the last thirty-two years. Damn! I wish it could have been more, you dig? I'm obsessed with the place, man. / The shortest holiday was only three days. I turned up in St Ives in summer without a place booked. Big mistake! Also, I sprained my ankle within an hour of arrival. I didn't let it hold me back though. I just stormed into the nearest pub - The Sloop Inn, actually - with the sort of confidence I rarely have. I was determined to enjoy those three days! / The longest, as you know, kook(s), was the eight weeks from January to March 1991 in Looe/Polperro. (Trelawne, to tell you the truth.) I'd sell my soul to the devil to go to St Ives now for eight weeks. 'Seriously, boss?!' Well, I don't know, Voice. Maybe not. / You need rock star money to go for eight weeks these days. But rock stars have no privacy. Maybe I need songwriter money ... ? Or ... Malibu. Yes, Malibu might be the best option. I'll get a big house like Jackie Treehorn's. (As I've said before. As I'll keep saying.) I'll have parties on the beach. I'm not sure I'll wear a white suit. It's not really my style. / Oh, oh, listen!!! I reckon I'll be really popular in Malibu once people have heard my song Malibu. I mean, it's the best song about California. 'What about the hotel one?' Er, yes, a great song, sure, but ... I prefer mine. 'Well, you would!' Exactly!

Laters!

[No. 709] Lost, but looking

Sad, but dreaming.

And, well, well[1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[1], and, well, well[2], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[2], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[1], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![2], and nothing, nothing[1], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[2], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[1], and nothing, nothing[2], and I try to force myself[1], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[2], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[1], and I try to force myself[2], and I try to believe ... in love[1], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[2], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[1], and I try to believe ... in love[2], and I can't stop, man - !!![1], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[2], and it's a mystery why ...[1], and I can't stop, man - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[1], and it's a mystery why ...[2], and it's a mystery how ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[2], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[1], and it's a mystery how ...[2], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[1], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[2], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![1], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[2], and I'm praying, real hard[1], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![2], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[1], and I'm praying, real hard[2], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[1], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[2], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![1], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[2], and I'll tell you one thing ...[1], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![2], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[1], and I'll tell you one thing ...[2], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[1], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[2], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[1], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[2], and ... YES - !!![1], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[2], and, well, well[3], and ... YES - !!![2], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[3], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![3], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[3], and nothing, nothing[3], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[3], and I try to force myself[3], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[3], and I try to believe ... in love[3], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[3], and I can't stop, man - !!![3], and it's a mystery why ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[3], and it's a mystery how ...[3], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[3], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[3], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![3], and I'm praying, real hard[3], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[3], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[3], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![3], and I'll tell you one thing ...[3], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[3], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[3], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[3], and ... YES - !!![3], and

And, well, well[1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[1], and, well, well[2], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[2], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[1], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![2], and nothing, nothing[1], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[2], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[1], and nothing, nothing[2], and I try to force myself[1], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[2], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[1], and I try to force myself[2], and I try to believe ... in love[1], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[2], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[1], and I try to believe ... in love[2], and I can't stop, man - !!![1], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[2], and it's a mystery why ...[1], and I can't stop, man - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[1], and it's a mystery why ...[2], and it's a mystery how ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[2], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[1], and it's a mystery how ...[2], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[1], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[2], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![1], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[2], and I'm praying, real hard[1], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![2], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[1], and I'm praying, real hard[2], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[1], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[2], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![1], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[2], and I'll tell you one thing ...[1], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![2], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[1], and I'll tell you one thing ...[2], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[1], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[2], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[1], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[2], and ... YES - !!![1], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[2], and, well, well[3], and ... YES - !!![2], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[3], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![3], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[3], and nothing, nothing[3], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[3], and I try to force myself[3], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[3], and I try to believe ... in love[3], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[3], and I can't stop, man - !!![3], and it's a mystery why ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[3], and it's a mystery how ...[3], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[3], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[3], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![3], and I'm praying, real hard[3], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[3], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[3], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![3], and I'll tell you one thing ...[3], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[3], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[3], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[3], and ... YES - !!![3], and

And, well, well[1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[1], and, well, well[2], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![1], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[2], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[1], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![2], and nothing, nothing[1], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[2], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[1], and nothing, nothing[2], and I try to force myself[1], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[2], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[1], and I try to force myself[2], and I try to believe ... in love[1], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[2], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[1], and I try to believe ... in love[2], and I can't stop, man - !!![1], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[2], and it's a mystery why ...[1], and I can't stop, man - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[1], and it's a mystery why ...[2], and it's a mystery how ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[2], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[1], and it's a mystery how ...[2], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[1], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[2], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![1], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[2], and I'm praying, real hard[1], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![2], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[1], and I'm praying, real hard[2], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[1], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[2], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![1], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[2], and I'll tell you one thing ...[1], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![2], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[1], and I'll tell you one thing ...[2], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[1], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[2], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[1], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[2], and ... YES - !!![1], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[2], and, well, well[3], and ... YES - !!![2], and it's one of those ... days, actually, or ... eternities[3], and a-ROUND here ... ? Hello![3], and, yes, yes, yes, I'm melancholic, like a mofo ... / and, ah, what can I do about it?[3], and nothing, nothing[3], and you, you ... YOU(!) are ... ? / and, obviously, I know, yes, I know[3], and I try to force myself[3], and smiling, uh ... finding a new meaning in the word / and ... I'm ... totally ... sad, however[3], and I try to believe ... in love[3], and, listen ... I'll keep going, a-ROUND here ... for reasons best known to no one in particular[3], and I can't stop, man - !!![3], and it's a mystery why ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and faster than the speed of light, all mystical, like[3], and it's a mystery how ...[3], and we can't give up / and who knows what the future might bring?[3], and, oh ... I wonder, seriously[3], and, baby, there's got to be a lot of joy somewhere, for us, on the COLD EARTH ... ... ... ?![3], and I'm praying, real hard[3], and I don't know / and ... I don't know[3], and maybe I'll get away on that night train / and maybe I'll find myself in the fucking sea forever[3], and who knows, eh?! / and ... who knows, eh?![3], and I'll tell you one thing ...[3], and, listen ... I'll tell you a lot of things ... but none of it will matter, no, no, no[3], and ... not as time rolls over us, no[3], and, uh ... let's put on ... our brave faces, you dig? / and let's get so committed that people will gasp[3], and ... YES - !!![3], and

ThomasLloyd launches first open-ended public infrastructure fund and ...

... signs global fund distribution agreement with Allfunds. / Okay, okay. Yeah, it's a PR email, dear reader(s). I've never heard of the firm before ... have I? Have we? 'No, boss. I don't think so.' Yeah, so, I Googled the name and ... this is interesting. They sell sofas! 'Ha!' What, Voice? 'That's a different firm.' A different firm? 'A different firm with the same name.' Eh?! A different firm with the same name?!

THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GONE INSANE - !!!

Anyway ...

London, Zurich, 16 May 2019. The global investment and advisory firm ThomasLloyd announced that it is cooperating with Allfunds, one of the world's leading distributors of investment funds. Following the signing of a global framework agreement relating to ThomasLloyd's fund suite earlier this year, as of today, the ThomasLloyd SICAV-Sustainable Infrastructure Income Fund (SIIF) is accessible via the Allfunds open architecture fund platform.

And, uh ... look at this -

ThomasLloyd Group is a leading global investment and advisory firm, solely dedicated to the infrastructure sector in Asia. The Company is based in London and Zurich, as well as 15 other locations in 12 countries in North America, Europe and Asia. The services it provides encompass capital raising, M&A and corporate finance for private and stock-market-listed companies, project financing and management for project developments, and investment consulting, wealth management and funds for private and institutional investors. The ThomasLloyd Group has more than 250 employees and currently manages assets worth around 3.5 billion US dollars.

THEY DO NOT SELL SOFAS - !!!

A bit about the fund ...

The Fund invests directly in unlisted infrastructure assets in the areas of renewable energy, utilities, transport, social infrastructure and communications with a geographic focus on Asia-Pacific; applying socially responsible investment principles (SRI) whilst reducing investment risks through diversification across countries, sectors, technologies and investment styles. Authorized for sale throughout Europe and a selection of other countries worldwide, SIIF offers investors convenient, direct and instant access to a particularly attractive asset class. 

Okay, okay. Fair enough. No endorsement, obviously. I don't know anything about funds. I just work here, like.

Well, well ... / What does ... Mikey say? 'You?' No, not me, Voice. Mikey! 'Mikey who?!' Mikey Sieg, that's who! Ha!

ThomasLloyd Chairman and Group CEO, Michael Sieg, comments: "Offering our open-ended AIF on the global Allfunds fund platform creates a win-win situation. By investing with ThomasLloyd, an accredited partner of the IFC, institutional and private investors can benefit both from our investment expertise in the evolving asset class of infrastructure and add substantially to their ESG quotas in their investment portfolios. At the same time, ThomasLloyd significantly increases its distribution reach by joining this powerful global network."

Okay, okay. Thanks, Mr Sieg!

...

Anything else? Well, I nearly didn't write this post. I nearly booked a ticket to Cornwall on the night train for tonight. However, I suppose ... I've got to be sensible. 'Why, boss? Why?!' Oh, I don't know. The weather isn't perfect yet. It's so expensive nowadays. I can't pay for imperfect weather, you dig? Also, I still haven't recorded my songs. 'Uh.' I've been rehearsing a lot lately. I don't want to lose my momentum. Also ... I've just got bad vibes about life in general at the moment. I'm not in the right mood for St Ives.

I'm listening to Redemption Song by Bob Marley, on repeat. I think it's the best acoustic recording ever. But please notice, kook(s), that the guitar playing isn't amazing. Those Steely Dan pricks certainly wouldn't approve. [Oh, I like their music. Really!] Marley's voice dominates. The passion of it. I can learn from this. My guitar playing is good enough, man.

My songs? I've changed my mind again. I will need another five world-beaters soon. Not for the album. But just for kicking ass. If you know what I mean. / [I may have to do acoustic gigs without a band to start off with. I hope not.] / I played my BIG FIVE yesterday. Including What's This Life We Live?, which won't be on the demo. They sound awesome together. But ten of them would be off the fucking hook, frankly.

So, uh ... another week of blogging then. Christ!

Laters!

New equity - !!!

Okay, okay. Just a little one. A little PR email to finish off the week ...

Amsterdam / London, 14 May 2019 - La Perla Fashion Holding NV ("Company" or "La Perla") confirms a capital increase of EUR 23 million of new equity to the Company. The Board of Directors has approved the issuance of new shares to external investors, based on an equity valuation of EUR 450 million, equating to 5,111,111 new shares.

La Perla was acquired by Sapinda Holding B.V. ("Sapinda") in February 2018.

-ENDS-

And that's it!

Right. Let's play some tunes!

Slave To Love. Bryan Ferry.

Tell Her About It. Billy Joel.

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. The Police.

L-O-V-E (Love). Al Green.

Love Is Here To Stay. Frank Sinatra.

Angels. Robbie Williams.

Okay, okay. What now? Apollo - !!! That's what.

...

Anything else? Well, I'm tired. / I might look at the Sloop Inn webcam for a bit. I like looking at St Ives at night. I actually think this webcam is an invasion of privacy because it shows so much, but ... I still like to see what's going on, you dig? It's addictive. Sometimes they have crazy boat races in the harbour. There was a shark last summer.

My music? I don't think I'll be able to write five new world-beater songs this year, not if I'm going to massively improve my guitar playing. [Maybe I'll get a couple.] There are only so many hours in the day. Do you know what I mean? I'm praying for another tune to come to me during a blackout or dream or whatever. It's nice work if you can get it. At least I've got all the material I need for a classic album. / Oh, two famous examples of dream tunes are Yesterday and (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction.

Well, good night, kook(s). Good morning. Have a nice weekend. Or a nice Thursday and Friday at work. I don't know.

Laters!

Seed funding

And waterboarding, too, I think. 'Onboarding, boss.' What, Voice? 'Onboarding.' What's that?! 'I don't know. It's probably something similar.' [Didn't I write about onboarding years ago? I can't remember.] / Okay. Okay. Maybe the mystery will be cleared up after I've copied and pasted this PR email ...

14th May 2019 - Edinburgh, Scotland - Global fintech, The ID Co., has today announced that it has received $2m seed funding from global technology investor Amadeus Capital Partners, SixThirty and other investors.

Fine. That's the seed funding dealt with, dear reader(s). It seems kosher. But what about this hellish onboarding?

The ID Co. helps businesses such as lenders to onboard their customers more efficiently. Its technology removes the friction caused during application processes by the current challenges of risk, fraud, compliance, and regulation.

Unbelievable! They're onboarding their customers! Or helping others to onboard their customers. 'The whole world has gone insane, boss.' Tell me about it!

The ID Co. has recently launched two innovative products, DirectID Insights and Income Verification, based on Open Banking. The ID Co. is a market leader in Open Banking - a global movement that grew out of the UK, which allows companies or individuals to securely share their data with a third party. The ID Co.'s mission is to make bank data readily available to any business so that it can revolutionize its offering and transform its customers' experience.

Transform its customers' experience? Christ! The evil that men do. 'Listen, why don't you ask James Varga about it? Phone him!' No. I don't want to talk to a nasty piece of work like him, man. Not if he's involved in onboarding. I'd rather talk to Donald Trump about his wall. Actually, I'd rather talk to the wall.

I'll quote James though ...

James Varga, CEO of The ID Co., said: "The financial world is being fundamentally changed through Open Banking. It improves our understanding of each individual, allowing us to move away from traditional credit reference agencies."

Ah, clever! Pretending to be all civilized and shit. / Maybe Nick Kingsbury at Amadeus will let something slip ...

Nick Kingsbury, Partner at Amadeus Capital Partners, added: "The ID Co. is delivering real value to its clients. The application of Open Banking-based data allows financial providers to personalize their services and streamline and shorten lending processes. We are delighted to be supporting the company in solidifying its lead in the UK and expanding its international presence."

Very disappointing. Where's all the violence, the sheer thuggery?

"SixThirty is excited to continue its support for The ID Co., a growing leader in the digital reality of Open Banking," added Atul Kamra, Managing Partner of SixThirty. "The speed at which decisions must be made in our hyper-connected world comes with a growing customer expectation for instant value and service. This places a premium on The ID Co.'s capabilities around rapidly confirming customer identity and delivering customer insights. James and The ID Co. team have gotten a real nice head start here and are well positioned to take advantage from the regulatory tail winds afforded by Open Banking."

Whatever.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Music? My music? You know, kook(s), I'm not sure I need to practice more. I seem to play my guitar much better when I'm in a good mood. So maybe I need to work on my emotional states more than anything else. What do you think, Voice? 'Play the piano again, boss. It's easier.' No. It's a bad image. And I prefer guitar-based songs. / Hopefully, when I do gigs I'll have a decent band behind me and I won't have to play anything at all. 'What will you do, then, dance like Mick Jagger?' Ha! No. I'll just prowl around the stage, menacingly, like my mentor Jim Morrison.

I'll be doing another post in a while ...