Monday, 7 June 2010

Julian Barnett has raised $200 million for Ridley Park Capital

Yes, he has. Julian Barnett has raised $200 million for his hedge fund. But you'll notice that I have not used an exclamation mark at the end of this post's title. I normally get very excited about this kinda shit, so why no '!'?

I'll tell you why no '!' It's because everyone was saying that Ridley Park Capital would be launched with $500 million! What went wrong?

Oh, is it the economic climate?

No. Jules failed in the desert of our love. That's the reason he only managed to scrape $200 million together. He did not burn. He did not fly high in the friendly astral sky. He was not touched by ghosts or mystical children. Basically, he was not loved.

O Master, why wasn't he loved?


Is that the truth?

THAT'S THE TRUTH! He went into the desert with a cold heart, he had money with him, but there was no fire, I'm not saying Jules is a bad man, but he is a cold man, he should wander the cold earth for many decades, that should make him happy, not happiness as we know it, but it would make him happy, but that’s not what he wants, he insists on coming to our desert, to interfere with our way of life, but he doesn't bring love with him, just cold hard cash, which is not good enough, not in our reality, it has never been good enough, not for us because we want the burning love that lasts forever, the burning love that lifts us up, that takes us away from our troubles, that removes us from the poverty and the spiritual desolation of the envious, oh, why did he come? was he lost? was he curious? was he insane? driven insane by stories of burnings, driven insane by voices, oh, did the voices reach him, and did he wonder what they meant? so he went after them, in the direction of love - but he had no love to give, not like us, he had no love to give back to the desert, only cold hard cash, and so he failed, but still he comes to us, oh, yes, he comes again, Jules baby is here again, and still he fails, he's failing now, because he has no love, O Master, what can we do about this? should we help him? or should we abandon him to his fate? with only $200 million when it could have been $500 million, $200 million is all there is for him, not the $500 million, the torment, oh, the pain he must feel, the misery, oh, my heart is breaking for him and I'm only a voice, I am speaking metaphorically of course.

O my child, I understand. I know you're just a voice.

O hedge fund managers, learn from the life of Julian Barnett! It could have been $500 million. It is only $200 million. Look at him! Learn!