Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Alastair Gunn at Jupiter ain't worried about China, man

No, Alastair Gunn ain't worried at all about the stock market crisis in China because he reckons growth in the UK will continue ...

Well, well ... / I'm not quite sure what to say. Actually, I am. Firstly, there hasn't been any growth in the UK. Houses prices have been going up, that's all. And the prices have only been going up because there aren't enough houses. I suppose Alastair worships the ground that George Osborne walks on. 'Ha! George hasn't got a clue, boss.' Of course he hasn't, Voice! Without China we are all screwed. Believe or don't believe, dear reader(s). I really don't give a shit.

[Secondly? There is no secondly. Deal with it!]

And the funny thing is, I'm not even an expert on these matters. I'm on the mystical side of things, yeah? 'So how come you know so much?' It's just common sense, man. Also, I'm not ideological. I don't believe things just because I fucking want to believe them. 

Oh, I'm in a bad mood, reader(s). So what? Someone's got to be, in this absurd country. We can't all go around thinking everything's wonderful. Jesus! If YOU(!) ... want to think that, you've got to get a-ROUND, you dig? It's the only way.


Anything else? Politics? Christ! Oh, all right. Jeremy Corbyn wants nuclear submarines with no nuclear weapons in them. I give up! The guy has an open goal with the Tories, man. And he keeps kicking the ball out of the stadium!

There's no hope. You've got to look after yourself now. Me? I'm building a spaceship in my back garden. 'Mikey, you don't need no spaceship, son. You've just got to get beyond the THREE.' Beyond the THREE?! Oh yeah, I mean, it's so easy to do. Idiot!

Lunch? Cheese sandwich. But you already knew that, didn't you, reader(s)? 'Well, I did. I've looked in your fridge.' Shut up! / Laters ...