Thursday, 21 January 2016

David Lis is retiring from Aviva Investors

Well, well ... / Yeah, this March. Our Dave has had enough of the pubs, the late nights, the curry houses, and in the summer ... he's sick of the ice cream and lazy days in the park. 'What is he going to do then, boss, get a proper job?' Ha! How?! No, he's retiring, Voice. That's it. I mean, the word is out now about Aviva Investors. Everyone knows they don't actually do any work. Everyone knows that it's Schroders that manages all the funds. 'Ha! Those mugs!'

There is a bit of confusion though. 'Oh no. Let's hear it.' Mr Lis is supposed to be the chief investment officer for multi-asset and equities at Aviva Investors. However, on his LinkedIn profile he describes himself as the head of equities. 'Maybe it's the same thing. Maybe our Dave is a bit of an eccentric. It's not a big deal, is it, boss?' I suppose not. I just like things to be nice and tidy, you know? I like order in the world. 'And the cosmos.' Yes, uh, and the cosmos ... goes without saying. Christ!

Er ... what does chief executive Euan Munro say? 'About the cosmos? This'll be good!' No, about Mr Lis. He says: "Since I joined Aviva Investors at the start of 2014, Davy Boy has been a huge support and I have thoroughly enjoyed partying with him. He has made a significant contribution during his eighteen years with the business and leaves behind a strong legacy and a few cans of Stella in the kitchen fridge." Shit! He's forgotten to take his lager with him! 'He ain't leaving yet. But I'm sure he don't care about the lager, man! And Euan will drink it.' Yes, Euan obviously has his eye on the Stella. / Well, I hope Dave's going to be happy in his retirement. There'll be lots of golf, no doubt.


Anything else? Well, dear reader(s), it's the end of the working week for me, I can tell you that. 'No Thursday night PR email, back by popular demand?' No, Voice. Sod it! I've got different fish to fry ...