Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Matthieu Duncan is the new chief executive of Natixis Asset Management

Well, he will be, next month. Christ knows what he's doing at the moment though. Actually, Christ knows what he's been doing since May last year. He was the chief operating officer at Quilter Cheviot Investment Management. But he didn't fancy that. 'No?' Not for long, Voice. He was only there for a year and a half. Then he went missing ... until now. 'Ha!' What has our Matthieu been doing with himself? Seriously!

Oh, er ... / Hang on! An email has just come through. Bloody hell! How did he know I was writing about him? 'Is it an email from Matthieu, boss?' Yes, it is. 'Impressive! What does he say?'

Dear Michael,

I know you're writing about me, son. I ain't stupid, you know. However, I do have mystical powers. You want to know what I've been doing since I left Quilter Cheviot last year? Not that it's any of your business, but ... I've been getting into myself, you dig? Out, out into the cosmos, and in, in, in - into myself. Deep inside. Meditating, thinking, making plans for the future. And looking around! What's going on, man? I've been crying tears for the world. What are we doing to the planet, Michael? How many dolphins do we have left? Something must be done.

So, yeah, have your fun. Laugh at me with your readers. But please understand that I'm trying to make changes. I'm trying to grow!

Kind regards,


Okay, fair enough. A little hysterical maybe. I haven't even mentioned dolphins in this post, have I, Voice? 'No, boss. No, you haven't.'

Well, well ... Natixis (Global - ?!) Asset Management. What do we know about it?

Natixis Global Asset Management is a multi-affiliate organization that offers a single point of access to more than twenty specialized investment firms in the Americas, Europe and Asia. The firm ranks among the world’s largest asset managers. Through its Mystical Portfolio Construction philosophy, the company is dedicated to providing innovative ideas on asset allocation and risk management that can help institutions, advisors and individuals address a range of modern market challenges.

Nice. Very nice. 'Nothing about the dolphins.' No. I hope Natixis has made the right choice with our Matthieu. 'Some hope!' They've got the mystical thing going on, man. However, no dolphins. It's the owls I'm concerned about, myself. 'Yeah.' But I'm sure Matthieu knows what he's doing.


Anything else? 'Please!' Music? I ain't got nothing on yet. However, my music! I'm in two minds now about the structure of my new song. 'Oh, Christ!' I told you yesterday, my dear reader(s), that I was going to put the chorus at the beginning. Strangely, though, this weakens the song. With the old structure it really has the power of a poppy Smells Like Teen Spirit. 'That song was poppy, anyway, boss. Just with heavy guitars and drums.' You might have a point there, Voice. / I don't know what to do. Maybe I shouldn't make a decision until I have some or all of the lyric.

Laters. I might have a PR email later. So, laters.