Monday, 14 March 2016

Old Mutual has gone freakin' nuts!!!

Or something. Only split itself into four different parts, man. And no one's complaining. Has the whole world gone insane?! 'They had to, boss. Regulations.' They didn't have to, Voice. No firm has to. 'It's like The Beatles. They can all have solo careers now.' Don't be so bloody ridiculous! It's nothing like The Beatles!

Anyway, the four parts, four new firms, are - or will be - Old Mutual Emerging Markets, Old Mutual Wealth, Nedbank Group, and OM Asset Management. All spinning off. 'Ha! There's an idea for a conceptual there.' Shut up! 'Why do you even care, Mikey? Why are you getting so emotional about it?'

[I don't care. It doesn't affect me. I'm aloof, above it all. Just like Zarathustra on the mountain top, frying different fish. The financial world can't touch me, can't hurt me, can't stain my soul ...]

Christ! The chief executive! Bruce Hemphill! He wants to unlock value currently trapped within the group structure. Ha! 'Oh, come on. It makes sense, boss.' Well, Paul McCartney didn't unlock any value, did he? I don't care how big Wings were. It's a sick joke!

But it's their funeral, you know? If this is what Old Mutual wants to do, dear reader(s), I won't interfere. I just hope they don't come crying to me when, er ... 'It all ends in tears.' Exactly. 'If it does. Give them a chance, man. Maybe they'll do something great like John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band.' Yeah, maybe. I can't see it, myself, but they might surprise us. Imagine was a pretty good album. A few weak songs. But overall, okay.

Well, well ... / I always liked Nedbank Group, the cheeky one. 'I liked OM Asset Management, boss, the sarcastic one.' Well, I liked Old Mutual Wealth, man, the spiritual one. 'Yeah? I liked Old Mutual Emerging Markets, the smooth one. So romantic!' / Uh, whatever.


Anything else? Music? Well, I'm not listening to The Beatles or John Lennon. I'm listening to Squeeze, Greatest Hits. / Another Nail in My Heart is good. An upbeat but melancholic pop song - if that makes any sense. Airport by The Motors is another example of the genre.

My music? My new song? I might change the structure. I might put the chorus at the beginning and cut a verse. This will make the song thirty seconds shorter (to 3.37 by my calculations) and more commercial. However, it may lose some of its power. It's a price worth paying! I have to do what's best for the song, man. Still no lyrics though ...