Monday, 16 March 2020

Home deliveries

Right. This is a PR email from last week, from - 'From our Jinksy, boss?' Well, who else, Voice? Okay ...

ParcelHero has forecast a doubling of home deliveries in the event of a UK coronavirus epidemic, as shoppers seek to avoid crowded stores. But it says retailers and their courier partners must do more to ease concerns for both customers and drivers.

There's a problem with this. I went to the supermarket yesterday to get rather modest supplies, but at ten in the morning the shelves were nearly empty because people were just shovelling stuff into trolleys. I saw one guy carrying four bottles of wine in a frenzy. Is wine a necessity? I saw people buying all the bottled water they could carry. Why?! Is there something wrong with the tap water? The point I'm making is: how will the supermarkets cope with online demand and home deliveries? I mean, they can't cope with in-store sales. 'Jinksy will tell us!' Okay ...

The UK courier services expert ParcelHero says the doubling of home deliveries it forecast last week, to counteract the impact of the coronavirus, is already starting. But ParcelHero is warning the projected 100% increase in home deliveries will transfer the coronavirus front line to shoppers' doorsteps, and all retailers must collaborate with their delivery and courier partners to change the protocols around home deliveries.

Yeah, it's a health matter, too.

Says ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT: "The move from shopping in store to home deliveries makes strong sense. But home shoppers need to know they are not at unnecessary risk while their shopping is being delivered; and drivers need to feel they are not being placed in harm's way, especially if they are delivering to households in self isolation. That means the traditional way retailers and couriers deliver items has to change. With companies like Waitrose confirming they are happy to deliver to houses in self isolation, shoppers and drivers need to be confident any risk is minimized during the delivery process."

Okay, okay. Actually, there's a lot of this, but that's enough. I'm not even in the mood, to be honest.



Anything else? More coronavirus? Well, they're saying it might last for a year - which is ridiculous, frankly. My financial situation, my living situation ... won't last a year, man. And I was worried before the virus turned up. / So, music? My demo? Forget about a soft launch, like I said yesterday. This is a death or glory moment. It's got to be a hard launch, and the devil ... whatever. You dig?

Oh, maybe the virus will go in the summer ... ? Who knows?! No one knows!

And this pandemic is really going to show up austerity badly. I mean, the cuts to the police, the army, prisons, local councils, the civil service, care for the elderly, NHS, benefits … Have I missed anything?

And does anyone know what will happen with the end of the Brexit transition period? That will be the cherry on the cake next winter, that will!

But let's stay positive, eh?