Monday, 30 March 2020


What's that?! Uh, this? Well, obviously ... it's a PR email, but ... Lanistar is a new banking alternative fintech company. Or so they say. In Hammersmith. 'You could walk there, boss.' Well, Voice, Kyanna says I can have some photos of the CEO, Gurhan Kiziloz, in his office. But I'm thinking - 'Go and look through the window!' Yes, yes. That's what I'm thinking. I can peer through the window - like some sort of sicko - while Gurhan is working, and maybe take my own photos. 'Great!' Unfortunately, I don't walk anywhere any more. 'You're allowed to go out for exercise, boss.' I don't want to, man. I'm a hermit now.

Anyway ...

London - Thursday 26th March 2020: Lanistar, a new banking alternative fintech company, launches today, after securing £2m seed-funding. The company, which is based in Hammersmith, formally launches with over 45 fulltime staff, with a further 150 support staff due to be added, and is founded by serial entrepreneur Gurhan Kiziloz who has stated his ambition to create a £1bn fintech company and challenge traditional banking services.

The seed funding, which was raised through private financing and family contributions will support Lanistar's creation of a game-changing new debit card product, that will help customers streamline their money through cutting-edge technology. Lanistar's flagship new product is expected to be officially launched in winter 2020 and make use of polymorphic technology and open banking.

The company hopes to tap into the lucrative millennial and Generation-Z, 18-35 market, attracting customers who are seeking aspirational and lifestyle brands to enrich their daily lives. As part of its marketing effort, Lanistar is offering early supporters and online influencers the opportunity to own part of the company, helping raise the company's profile and reach its target valuation.

Okay, okay. 'Are you investing in it, boss?' Ha! I haven't got any money, Voice. / And, uh ... no endorsement, obviously, kook(s|). I mean, your investments can go up as well as down and all a-ROUND ... in the the current market, like. Or any market, really. You dig?

Okay, okay. Let's hear from the man himself ...

Gurhan Kiziloz, CEO, Lanistar, comments:

"Consumers are crying out for a hassle-free banking alternative that can make their lives easier and give them first class customer service. For too long the established banking providers have treated their customers like numbers a spreadsheet, letting them down when they need it most and ignoring their concerns.

"We're investing heavily in a product that will transform the market, giving consumers a personalized, exciting experience which will fit easily into their daily lives.

"The days of outdated, poorly performing banking services are over and we're here to set the new industry standard. We fully expect Lanistar to become the next £1billion fintech company and our team will work around the clock to turn this dream into a reality."

Turning a dream into a reality? Ha, ha, ha! 'He doesn't know, boss!' Of course he doesn't. But I will tell him now ...

Gurhan, son, dreams are reality - !!!



Anything else? Music? I've finished And Rain Came Down. Yes! I really enjoy playing it, too. It's very melodic and catchy, and the lyric is my second best after Nothing. So, it will be on the demo BECAUSE(!) ... I can't use Good Times now, can I? Christ. / I'll have seventeen songs soon. I've got to finish the lyric for that other new tune, a potential world-beater. / I only have two weak songs, She Loves Me and It's Just a Joke, Man from the 2016 demo. The latter isn't weak enough to scrap though, and I want to keep the former for sentimental reasons. I mean, I wrote She Loves Me in 2012, and I used to listen to the recording of it when I felt like giving up. Probably, uh ... three thousand times between 2012 and 2016. Ha! Then I started writing "great" songs, you dig?

Actually, I'm not too sure about I Want Everything, even though I like it. So, I will have fourteen "great" songs soon. Six of them so-called world-beaters, and the other eight ... bread-and-butter classics, first and second class.

Listen! I've been making every song count - almost - and I'm going to continue in the same manner. Maybe I'll be able to become the greatest ever songwriter with only sixty or seventy songs. Five classic albums!


Er ... what else? Ha! Six months inside? Six months of isolation? Is someone having a laugh? Man, there will be no society to return to six months from now. FFS.