Monday, 14 July 2014

Chris Bowie has left Ignis Asset Management

Yeah, it's a shame really. But things are changing at Ignis and Mr Bowie doesn't want to be head of credit no more. He's got different fish to fry - well, I hope he has. He seems a bit confused. You don't believe me, dear reader(s)?

Well, Mr Bowie phoned me late last night. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, I've left Ignis, man. I think it's the right thing for me to have done, considering that Standard Life Investments has taken over. It's a God-awful small affair. Every time I thought I'd got it made it seemed the taste was not so sweet. (Obviously, Chris, yeah. I understand. But what are you going to do now?) Well, I, I will be king. (Oh.) And you, you will be queen. (I beg your pardon, Chris? I think we've got a bad line.) Nothing, man. (Come on, seriously. What are you going to do?) I don't know. I haven't given it too much thought yet. I'm tempted to suck up into my mind like a leper messiah. (Yeah.) Or I might just get another job in finance. (Don't do that!) It's all I know, Mikey. I mean, I never lost control. You're ear to ear with the man who sold the world. (Well, I suppose, but -) And I ain't got no money, and I ain't got no hair. (Really?!) So ... I need to work again. It's just that ... (What, Chris? Tell me.) Day after day, they send my friends away, to mansions cold and grey, to the far side of town, where the thin men stalk the streets, while - (Oh, for Christ's sake, son, get a grip! Do you want to work in finance again? Yes or no!) I'm starving for me gravy, Mikey. I've got to! (Well, then, get another job. You'll be snapped up in no time, I'm sure.) Yeah, yeah. My brain hurts like a warehouse though. It's so hard, and ... (You'll be all right, Chris. Personally, I think you should get out of finance. Do something else. But it's your choice. And your life.) Hey, man, my work's down the drain! I, I, I ... (Listen, man. Listen to me! You're not alone. You're watching yourself, but you're too unfair. You got your head all tangled up, but if I could only make you care. Oh no, love, you're not alone. No matter what or who you've been. No matter when or where you've seen. All the knives seem to lacerate your brain. I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain. You're not alone!!!) Er ... thanks, Mikey.'
Chris hung up the phone after that. / Maybe I was a bit over the top with my final words, but I just wanted to get through to him, you know? I think I was successful. I'm sure he'll be okay.