Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Henry Fischel-Bock is leaving Barclays

Yeah, soon ... / At the moment, this Henry Fischel-Bock character is still the head of UK and European wealth management - if that means anything to you, dear reader(s). 'I think he's gone already, boss.' How would you know, Voice? I'll phone him later ... / Anyway, Henry has been around a bit. (Not a-ROUND. He's not one of those, yet. I mean, one of us - [?]. Just around at different firms and universities.) Before Barclays, he worked at U.S. Trust, Citigroup Wealth Management, Dresdner Private Bank, and ... a few other places, probably. He studied civil engineering at Princeton - for some reason. (I doubt he knows, himself.) He's got an MBA as well. Not from Princeton, from INSEAD. (He finds it difficult to stay in one place.) Yeah, he seems to be quite a confused man. He's not really sure what he wants to do with his life. 'Ha!' Which is where I come in. For some time now I've been trying to get Henry to pack it all in, the finance nonsense. When I see a weak person, someone who's confused, that's when I pounce. Last year Henry said to me: "Oh, Mr Fowke, sir, you'll never get me to walk away from finance. It's my life, you understand? MY LIFE!!! I'm not interested in other opportunities." Ha! Well, well, well ... / And what does Barclays Wealth & Investment Management say now? "Henry Fischel-Bock has decided to step down from his role to pursue another opportunity outside the firm. We wish him well in the future. Apparently, that fucking lunatic Michael Fowke has promised him a position in his band, playing bass or something." Well, no. I don't actually have a band. (I'm on my own, musically. And that's the way I like it.) / And I haven't promised Henry anything, really. I've merely opened his eyes. "Henry," I said to the poor sod recently, "there's a whole cosmos out there, son. Why are you rotting away, managing wealth? Do you think your clients love you? They don't love you. You could be anyone. They just see a square in a suit ... because that's what they are, squares in suits. When are you going to change? When are you going to grow - as a person, and as a soul? Put some flowers ... just behind your ears. There ain't no desert no more, Henry, but real love is everywhere, with us, the mystical ones. See the blood! See the fire! We still have the passion!" And that's what did it, my rhetoric. And Henry's weakness, and his confusion. / I'm a natural-born cult leader!


So ... what can I say? / The question is, what are you going to do, dear reader(s)? Come on! Think about your own situation ... yeah? Are you still at a bank or a hedge fund? Jesus!

[Mystic kook readers, don't worry.]