Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Bill Hwang has been banned from trading in Hong Kong for four years

I have a bad, bad feeling that my baby don't live here no more. That's all right, I still got my guitar. Look out now! - Jimi Hendrix, Red House
 Er ... / Bill "Tiger" Hwang or Hwang "Bill" Tiger or Tiger "Hwang" - 'What are you doing, boss? It's Bill Hwang, man, from Tiger Asia Management. He was the founder.' Oh, thank God you're back, Voice! I've missed you. I can't do this by myself. 'I was only gone for the weekend.' How are your parents? 'They're fine.' Still dead? 'What do you think?' Well, that's the astral plane for you, man. It is what it is. No one's gonna change it. 'What about this Bill, Mikey?' Yeah, he's been banned for four years, in Hong Kong. Although he's based in New York, I think. 'Forty-four years?!' FOR ... FOUR years. 'Oh right, yeah. What for, man?' Insider trading. 'He'll have to trade somewhere else now, like, er, New York.' Yeah, well, Tiger Asia has been turned into a family office, Archegos Capital Management. 'That old trick.' There's no harm in it, Voice. Everyone's got to earn a living ...

It's so hard these days ... / The problem - as I see it - if you're trading in Hong Kong ... is the dogs and filing cabinets. I mean, the mild-mannered janitors and filing cabinets, yeah? 'What?! Dogs? Filing cabinets?' We've discussed this before, haven't we? 'I don't know.' I'm sure we have. / If you're getting up to trading "shenanigans" and your janitor is a dog who keeps disappearing into the office filing cabinet, there's a good chance he's working for the authorities. 'Oh. / So what's the solution, boss?' The solution is to only hire a human janitor. And get rid of all of your filing cabinets, too - just to be on the safe side.

That's my advice, anyway, to any readers in Hong Kong (or New York, or anywhere, really). If you do that you won't have to turn your hedge fund into a family office.


Cheese sandwich? Yes, I'm having a cheese sandwich for lunch. Have you got a problem with it, dear reader(s)?

After lunch ... I might go out, or I might stay in. / I played my guitar for four hours yesterday. 'Forty-four hours?!' Ignore him. I might do the same today.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I will, even if I do pop out for an hour or two. / The way to get ahead in any venture - just ask Tony Robbins - is to analyse what other people are doing. If they're brilliant, model yourself on them. Do what they do. And if they're someone you want to beat, do more than they do. / I've been reading about various famous guitarists who haven't bothered to learn scales and only practice when they feel like picking up the guitar for five minutes. But Hendrix used to play all day long, literally. And people wonder why he was so good. Natural talent is mostly bullshit.

Well, tune in tomorrow for more pearls of wisdom ...