Thursday, 30 October 2014

Xiaoyu Liu has joined Aviva Investors

Yeah. And I have no idea why. Xiaoyu has left a perfectly good job at JPMorgan Asset Management to do ... whatever they do at Aviva Investors. 'Xiaoyu is going to get involved in some emerging markets stuff, boss.' Emerging markets?! Well, that rings alarm bells already. Why would Aviva Investors be interested in emerging markets? 'Maybe they think it gives the impression they're taking an interest in what's going on in the world.' Eh? 'I mean, if they're in the pub all day, they can leave Xiaoyu in the office, doing what he does, and -' Oh, we don't know it's a man, do we? Xiaoyu probably is a man, but I'm no good with these Chinese names. 'What else could he be, Mikey?' Well, one of those other ones ...

It doesn't bear thinking about. /  Asia Equity Income fund, Emerging Markets Equity Income fund, Emerging Market Small Cap fund ... NO! They must think we were born yesterday.

Now, if Xiaoyu were working at Schroders ... it would be a different matter. That's something we could believe in. 'If we dig a bit deeper, boss, we'll probably find that Schroders is managing all the funds anyway.' Yeah, same old story. I can't be bothered with it though. / I'm not even having a go at Aviva Investors, really, dear reader(s). I just wish they would be a bit more honest, you know? I mean, Euan Munro should just say to everyone, clients, reporters: We ain't managing no fucking funds, man, or doing any fucking work at all. We've got more money than we need, and we're happy in the pub. Deal with it! Not only would people respect that, but other financial firms would follow their example. 'Yeah. Then we could create a more beautiful world.' Of course we could, Voice! It's the next logical step.


Never mind. / I suppose I'll be taking Xiaoyu Liu for a spin after lunch. I've got nothing else to do.