Monday, 27 October 2014

Carl Icahn says the Taj Mahal will close this year

Pretty depressing ... / And Carl's absolutely gutted about it because the Taj Mahal is his favourite Indian restaurant. Carl told a reporter: "I'm distraught. I visit the Taj Mahal at least three times a week. I was even thinking about buying the place. Have you tried their chicken madras? Well, you should try it, man. It's out of this world! Mr Patel is a nice guy, but I think he's taken his eye off the ball. The restaurant is losing money. And they owe me money, by the way. I lent Mr Patel a few thousand dollars back in March. I'll never see that again. So, it's sad. Even Gordon Ramsay wouldn't be able to save the place. I'm afraid it will close before Christmas."

Well, yeah ... I know how Carl feels. When my nearest chip shop closed down last year I was really upset. They used to do these massive chips which were actually cut from the potato in the shop, you know? They didn't get them out of a bag in the freezer. Unfortunately, you never knew when the shop would be open. They didn't keep regular hours. It was like a hobby to them. They had a big relaunch at one point. However, no one turned up. And then they went out of business about a month later. / Still, there are other good chip shops in my area. It's not the greatest tragedy of all times or anything.


Other news? Oh, man, did you see David Cameron the other day, shouting and screaming on the TV, and banging his fists, his face bright red? Sure, he has a point about the £1.7 billion that the Eurofreaks are asking for, but I was like ... No, please, Dave, be quiet. People all around the world are watching you, for Christ's sake! / Do you know what I mean, dear reader(s)? It was so fucking embarrassing! Statesman?! Jesus! There's a three-legged cat in my street that would make a better statesman. 'Statescat, boss!' Yeah, whatever.