Thursday, 16 October 2014

The economy is not recovering and unemployment is not going down

That's the bad news. The good news is that government ministers have decided to take a pay cut. To show voters that We're all in it together ministers will now get paid a mere £2 an hour. 'What?!' Oh yes. Of course, it won't harm them at all because they're all millionaires. 'That's a shame.' However, I still think it's a nice gesture. They're showing us that they're not lower than vermin, and they're not nasty. (Theresa May and Nye Bevan were wrong!) They're just misunderstood, that's all.

Right, er ... / 'You live in a dream world, you do, boss.' It's better than the real thing, Voice. / Also, in my dream world, the bad news ... the economy is not recovering and unemployment is not going down. 'Total bollocks!' Listen! Unemployment is somewhere around 10 or 12 per cent, I reckon. Maybe 15 per cent. And the economy is totally screwed unless ... you live on a billion dollar yacht. If you're floating around the world's oceans on a billion dollar yacht, the economy is booming - for you. 'What are you talking about, Mikey?! You're not making any sense.' Voice, this is my fantasy, all right? Just leave me alone. If you want the truth, go to one of the square financial websites. They'll tell you that unemployment is only 6 per cent.

Jesus H. Christ! / Do you know who I feel sorry for, dear reader(s)? I'll tell you, man (woman): It's not the downtrodden, the disabled, the sick, the unemployed, the low paid, the workfare slaves. No! It's the bankers and hedgies who are making investment decisions based on information they get from the government and the media. And that probably means ... YOU! / If you believe all the shit that's being pumped out, you've got some serious problems, boy (girl). Serious fucking problems! You're going to end up sleeping under the arches with the rest of us if you're not careful.