Monday, 16 March 2015

Manny Roman is getting a bigger bonus!

And I'm happy for him. Manny's bonus is up 43 per cent to $2.5 million. Well done, Manny! / But does he deserve it, dear reader(s)? I mean, it seems our Manny is still keeping faith with that God-awful Man Group computer. What's it called again? HAL, I think ... ? 'AHL, boss.' Yes, thank you, Voice. AHL! It sounds utterly demonic.

Has our Manny forgotten the Way of the Shaman? I watched The Last Samurai last night. It's a really good film. The Way of the Shaman has a lot in common with the Way of the Samurai. Discipline, devotion, sacrifice, honour ... / In the film, the emperor almost forgets the old ways, but Tom Cruise reminds him (er, by getting all his friends killed). Well, Manny Roman is the emperor of Man Group, and - 'And you're Tom Cruise, Mikey?' Yeah, sort of.

[A note for confused readers: The Way of the Shaman isn't a film, all right? I'm talking about a way of living, man. I shouldn't have to explain this shit to you.]

Oh, one more thing. Is there any confusion in your mind about Man Group's increased AUM? ('No.' Not you. Them. 'Oh.') There shouldn't be because it is very simple. Man Group has been buying investors and AUM. It's much easier than attracting new business. 'So, boss? Is that such a terrible thing?' I'm just saying, that's all.

Manny, mate, get rid of AHL! Please! I feel sick thinking about it. Get rid of AHL and I'm sure assets will come naturally. Do it for me, as an old friend.


That's enough finance. No post tomorrow. I'll be back Wednesday with more nonsense from the exciting world of finance.

Anything else? Lunch? I don't know what I'm having yet. I haven't been to the shop. It'll be a sandwich of some kind, an egg or a cheese one. No surprises!

Music? I'm listening to The Specials. More Specials. I was a rude boy, you know. When I was eleven, twelve. 'Ah, ain't that sweet!' Shut up, you idiot!