Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Old Mutual Wealth has bought Quilter Cheviot!

This is completely shocking! (Well, to me, anyway.) In this day and age you can't ... I mean, how is this even acceptable? You can't buy a human being! This is the twenty-first century, man! It's outrageous! / I think Quilter Cheviot is an American. He sounds American. (They all have funny names, don't they?) I've been trying to contact him, but no luck so far. 'Have you looked at his LinkedIn profile, boss?' I don't think he has one, Voice. 'Oh no. Maybe Old Mutual Wealth has deleted it. They probably don't want anyone interfering. You know, helping him and that. Poor Mr Cheviot!'

The evil that men do ... / Oh, you won't believe this statement, dear reader(s): "The acquisition of Quilter Cheviot is an important step in delivering a complete set of solutions to meet the wide ranging needs of advisers and clients." I'm almost speechless ... 'Who the fuck said that, Mikey?!' Hang on ... Paul Feeney, the chief executive of Old Mutual Wealth. 'Christ!' Yeah. The man is clearly a lunatic, Voice.

The world is a big sewer ... / The problem, as I see it, is that these financial firms just have so much power these days. They think they can do what they want. Morality has gone out the window! 'Was it ever in the window, Mikey?' Er ... you can't be in a window, man. You can be in a room, and then go out through the window, I suppose. Is that what you meant? 'Yeah. Was morality ever in the room and ... looking out through the window, and thinking to itself, I'd like to go out through the window - ?' Well, that's some question, Voice. (What room are we talking about? And you can be in a window, I think.) And I'll be honest with you and my readers, I really don't know ...

This is getting confusing. It's just a stupid phrase that people use. I don't want to get sidetracked, reader(s). Our thoughts should be with poor Mr Cheviot. Old Quilty ...

My only consolation? I have a cheese sandwich for lunch, and crisps, yoghurt, Coke. Yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'll let everything else just fucking fade from my mind, you dig? Man, I'm getting rid of grief! I want to look after number one. 'Me?!' Ha!

[Obviously, Quilter Cheviot is a firm. However, maybe it can be argued that Old Mutual Wealth has bought Quilter Cheviot's employees - ? I don't know, son (daughter). All I can say is, my blog works on many different levels of meaning, satire, and grim humour. The world is a fucked up place, my friend(s). Admit the part you are playing in it! Yes, YOU(!) are involved. You are partly to blame. / Personally, I like to think of myself as a fucked up person. I live in the world, so why shouldn't I be fucked up? (Look at yourself! Know thyself!) The only people who aren't fucked up are those hermit monk types that live in caves. 'Is that true?' NO! I'm sure they have their problems, too, you dig? I mean, why did they want to run away from everything and cut themselves off like Zarathustra? What exactly is their problem?! 'Damn it!' Even that sort are in the world, somewhere, suffering and causing others to suffer by being so aloof. Just knowing about them makes me fucking sick!]