Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Charlie Aitken? Aitken Investment Management?

Er ... this is a, er, story from Australia, for some reason. 'What?! Why?!' Don't ask me why. I just feel like going wild today, man. 'Oh, you're a crazy cat, boss!'

Yeah. / Anyway, this Charlie character is getting $150 million from Australian billionaire Kerry Stokes. (Or his family or something. 'Family office.' Whatever.) American dollars. And that's half the money he feels he needs to launch his new hedge fund. ('Ha! These people, Mikey! Unbelievable!' I know.) The rest will be coming from smaller investors. Deadbeats, you might say. ('I wouldn't say that. You should be such a deadbeat.' Shut up, Voice!) There is only one question I want answered: What is wrong with Australian dollars, man?!

Never mind. Who cares, eh? / Apparently, this Charlie character of ours is famous in Australia. 'Famous?!' In financial circles, as it were. 'Oh.' But it's all news to me. I only "discovered" him this morning. So I went to Bloomberg, looking for some answers ... 'Ha!' Do you know what they told me, dear reader(s)? 'Tell them, boss.' Well, Bloomberg told me: This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 1 different industries. 'Ha!' WTF?! 'Ha, ha, ha!' I mean, where do these Bloomberg pricks get off with "information" like that?

I suppose it doesn't matter ... / Obviously, it goes without saying that I wish Mr Aitken all the best. It's not every day that someone launches a new hedge fund. 'Yes it is. And the fund hasn't been launched yet, boss. Wait until next month to wish him all the best.' Next month?! By next month I will have forgotten all about Charlie and his blasted fund. Idiot!!! / Charlie, if you're reading this: Good luck, son!


Er ... what else? / 'Music!' Music? I'm listening to Sir Van Morrison's Astral Weeks. (I ain't gonna call him "Sir" if I ever meet him.) This album sounds best walking down a lane in Cornwall on a sunny day. 'Really?' Take my word for it, Voice. I'm talking from experience.

Guitar? 'YES!!! Guitar!' I played for three hours yesterday but hardly noticed it. What I mean is, reader(s), it's not an effort any more, you dig? All the rhythms and the riffs ... 'In the free world?' Oh, it's like shooting fish in a barrel, man! / Maybe I should try recording my songs again ...