Monday, 1 June 2015

David Tepper is putting money into Eric Cole's Warlander Asset Management

Oh, I know what you're thinking, dear reader(s): Christ! It's too early in the morning - a Monday morning, would you believe? - for financiers putting money into the hedge funds of other guys who work for the financier who ... Yes, I understand your concern. Maybe we should talk about music instead - ? 'Boss, just get on with it. Get it out of the way. Then you can play your guitar.' All right, Voice.

Eric Cole is a partner at Appaloosa Management. (That's Dave's firm for those of you who don't know and may not even care.) Now, any normal person like me or ... YOU(!) would be happy with that. A partner at Appaloosa Management! Yippee! Unfortunately, our Eric is the ambitious type. 'Oh dear.' Enough is never enough for a man like Eric Cole. So, he's starting his own firm, Warlander Asset Management, which will invest in global credit - if that makes any sense. 'Er ...' Never mind. Forget it! / Mr Tepper is putting in the seed money. 'How much?' No one knows, man. It could be hundreds of millions.

The thing about our Dave is, he can't let people go. He's not going to say to Eric: Good luck with Warlander, Eric. I hope you make a success of it. Maybe I'll see you around somewhere - ? No! He wants to keep control. Sure, Eric will have his own hedge fund. 'Great, Mikey!' Yes, but Mr Tepper will be hovering over him, watching every move he makes, like Sting. 'Every breath he takes, boss?' Yes, Voice. It's all about control. I mean, Mr Tepper doesn't need the money, does he?

However, I still think my way is better ... / I can control EVERYONE(!) through this blog. 'Evil genius!' The best thing is the conceptual shit, yeah? 'Tell them about it!' Let me tell you, dear reader(s), you get a fund manager inside a conceptual post and ... there is no way out, you dig? Trapped! A fly in jam! They are a-ROUND for eternity. 'So evil!' / And it doesn't cost me a penny, that's the beautiful thing. I do it with my mind, and with my words.

But each to their own, you know? As long as Mr Tepper is happy.


Music? 'At last!' Yes, at last. I can't even remember what I was writing about, Voice. 'Warlander.' Oh. / Anyway, I've been listening to that Argent song a lot lately, on repeat. 'What Argent song?!' God Gave Rock and Roll to You. 'Ha!' I find it very inspiring, man. 'Not inspiring enough to record your songs though.' I was too depressed yesterday. 'Bloody hell!' Don't worry. At least I'm still playing the guitar. I've made it a habit, a ritual. Neural pathways, son! 'Yeah, whatever.' / Tony Robbins. He knows what he's talking about.