Thursday, 11 June 2015

SEC charges Nicholas Lattanzio with hedge fund fraud

They're saying he's a phoney. (Have they been reading The Catcher in the Rye - ?) Nicholas Lattanzio, from New Jersey, allegedly posed as a hedge fund manager and defrauded small companies out of more than $4 million.

He ran the Black Diamond Capital Appreciation fund, and ... According to the SEC's complaint filed in federal court in New Jersey, the fund never had more than approximately $5 million in assets as Lattanzio simply took investor money and spent it on himself and his family. He allegedly used fund assets to purchase a million-dollar home in Montclair, N.J., a $124,000 luxury car, and $100,000 worth of merchandise from Tiffany & Co. He also paid off more than $760,000 in credit card debt, withdrew approximately $570,000 in cash or checks written to himself and his girlfriend, paid more than $30,000 to a yacht broker, and funded his children's private school tuition and his membership at an exclusive golf club. More, than is healthy.

Dear oh dear. I'm trying to understand ... I mean, we would all like that lifestyle, wouldn't we? Million-dollar homes, luxury cars, yachts. 'I know I would, boss.' Shut up, Voice! You're laughing, you are, son. 'How's that?' You don't have a body to maintain. You don't have bills to pay. You have no idea what it's like in the REAL WORLD(!). You have no understanding of the pressures. 'Hang on -' You just float around the cosmos, and the astral plane, enjoying yourself. Bastard! You don't have a care in the world, man! 'Oh. Why am I working for you, then?' I don't know. Love, I suppose. No one is forcing you.


Anything else? Not a lot. 'Music?' Oh, I might have to buy Live Cream, Vol. 2. Cream were definitely much better live than in the studio. Don't get me wrong. They recorded some decent songs, like Sunshine of Your Love and Badge. But their live stuff is awesome. I'm not sure any other band can compare. No wonder Jimi Hendrix was a fan!

Uh ... lunch? 'Lunch!' Yes, Lunch. Er ... cheese and pickle sandwich, luxury, only the best. The usual, you know. Crisps, Yoghurt, Coke.

And, er ... 'After lunch?' No. 324. 'Yippee!'