Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Who is Jamie Horvat?

Yes, who is Jamie Horvat? For the love of our saviour, who is he?! 'You mean James Horvat, Mikey. You're so informal with these characters, man, like they're your fucking friends or something.' [Jesus! What a moron!] Listen, Voice. Firstly, Mr Horvat calls himself Jamie, yeah? 'Oh.' Secondly, most of these characters are my friends. So you can shut your big mouth. 'Boss, I don't have a mouth. How many more times?! I'm just a disembodied voice.' Shut it!

[Christ! What a cretin!] Right, Jamie Horvat. Our Jamie is director of global equities at M&G Investments, and, er, a fund manager. Apparently, he likes metal. 'Another AC/DC fan?' AC/DC are hard rock, man. I wouldn't listen to them if they were metal. / Anyway, I'm sure Jamie does like AC/DC, but that's not the point. The point is, he has a position in metal at M&G. Probably invested in some groups, their records, or touring profits. 'Ha!' I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I don't know what the fuck is going on with this guy ...

I mean ... for example, I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile, as is my habit with such finance characters. Now, it seems Jamie went to McMaster University. That's what he claims. I'm thinking though ... it might be a made up university, you know? McMaster? Seriously? It's like some loser from a burger bar wanted to sound all dominant or something. I ain't buying it!

However, if our Jamie is happy, we shouldn't judge him. He threw his profile together in a rush. So what? He obviously doesn't care about square finance. Listening to music, being involved in music, is better than managing funds. And I doubt Jamie is really interested in making money. He has his "position" in metal merely to keep the bosses off his back at M&G. / Reader(s), if you work with Jamie, does he keep disappearing during the day? [Other voices ... for a minute or two.] Really? Oh dear. He probably has a guitar stashed in the broom cupboard. That's where you'll find him!


Anything else? Well ... / Guitar? I'm out in the open with my guitar, man! No need to hide. I'm rockin' in the free world - and without a care in the world.