Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Man Clarus: what in the name of Christ is it?

I really don't need this. It's a sunny day, and I've got to write about monsters? All right. I heard a voice (which is rare for me these days): 'Mr Fowke, they've finally done it. They've unleashed the Man Clarus.' And I didn't even know there was a Man Clarus.

Man Clarus. 'Beware the Man Clarus!' Absolutely ridiculous. Who are they trying to impress? Man Group must be getting bloody desperate. A bunch of idiots. Well, Eric Burl at Man has said: 'The Man Clarus provides the heightened sense of reality our investors seek.' (Investors! Always investors!) Oh, I hope so. I hope there's nothing more to it than that. I can't see it though. These creatures aren't very stable, you know. I have a lot of expertise in this space - as a phoney type might say. Yes, I know what's happened. There can be no doubt that the Man Clarus was created on the astral plane. And this bothers me. Firstly, I've banned all activity on the astral plane, ain't I? Secondly, Man has never been into mystical capitalism anyway! / I suppose it's the GLG crew, up to their old tricks. I didn't know anything about it, until now. Why would they keep me out of the loop? 'Think about it. You've already answered your own question.' You're right.

I haven't got the energy to interfere. I'll let them get on with it. But if there's any trouble, I'll kick some arse afterwards, you can be sure of that. People are bound to blame me if it all goes wrong. They'll say I was encouraging Man Group or something. 'It goes with the territory, Mr Fowke.' Yeah, I know, I know. Thank you. I'm the world's foremost financial shaman. This is the life I've chosen.