Tuesday, 13 July 2021

CAPZA[1], again!

Oh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ? Probably not, no, BUT(!) ... they've got the numbers in square brackets. Well, a couple of them.

Look - !!!

CAPZA[1], an independent management company and leading player in private investments in European SMEs - invests in the French HR Tech AssessFirst, an SaaS[2], platform for predictive recruitment and talent development focused on soft skills.

You see?

'Where's the [3], boss?'

They ain't got no three, Voice.

'That's disappointing.'

I know. Never mind.

AssessFirst has developed a proprietary platform that enables HR professionals to assess candidates based on 3 criteria: what they can do (their abilities), what they want to do (their motivations), and the way they behave (their personality). The solution also makes it possible to identify profiles able to integrate and evolve within a given team, function or environment. The assessment is based on a 30-minute questionnaire developed by scientists and based on recognized behavioural science studies.

Ha, ha, ha! This sort of thing has never worked on me, and never will. Why not? Well, how can you judge a spiritual aristocrat? These people don't even know what one is.

Okay, okay. Let's break this down ...

What can I do?

I can create a new revolutionary literature, my conceptual literature; and I can write great songs - some of the best ever, actually. But can I be a good, submissive employee? 'Ha, ha, ha!' Yeah, yeah. That's another story!

What do I want to do?

I want to be seen as a writer on the same level as Kafka and Beckett. [I've already achieved it.]

I want to become the greatest ever songwriter.

BUT(!) ...

Do I want to impress demonic HR professionals? You tell me!

How do I behave?

Like a fucking psycho. And I ain't changing!

Anyway ...

Founded in 2002 by David Bernard and Alexis Teplitchi, AssessFirst has progressively moved from being a consulting company to a 100% SaaS model in 2018. The company has developed algorithms based on Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning, which allows it to process data from several million profiles and automatically generate an evaluation of candidate profiles as well as predictive models.

Right. Whatever. Let's do the voices and ENDS this thing ...

"We are delighted to support David Bernard and his teams in this new stage of AssessFirst's development. With the spread of remote working, we are convinced that AssessFirst is well positioned to play a key role in the digitalization and transformation of the talent management market." - Matthieu Dordolo, Partner, CAPZA Growth Tech.

Okay.

"We have found in CAPZA a solid partner to support us in the acceleration of our development. Whether it is the resources made available, the quality of the teams or the common values that drive us, everything is now perfectly aligned to enable us to take a step forward and move to the next level." - David Bernard, CEO of AssessFirst.

Okay.

Thank you, Matthieu and David. Just be aware that a proprietary platform like this won't help anyone find the best people. 'Fuckin' A, boss!' The best people are beyond any kind of analysis.

ENDS
ENDS
ENDS

...

Anything else?

I will be spending the rest of my day on top of the mountain in my consciousness. The best people will know what I mean.

Laters!

No, no, no.

Listen, kook(s)! We must fight this sort of thing!

You are better than you know - if you don't already know. 'Eh?' Exactly!

You are a spiritual fragment of the spiritual cosmos. Raise yourself up! There are no limits.

Do YOU(!) understand?

If you're an employee at some firm, become a person your boss will be scared of.

Become an absolute monster!

The power is within you.


Note: Kafka and Beckett aren't entertainers the way nearly all successful writers are and have to be. It's the highest level of literature. That sort don't change their writing to find an audience. They don't even think of an audience. And that's why I've been doing my conceptual stuff for nine years.