Tuesday, 6 July 2021

Christoph von Aesch

I'm not sure I like the sound of this guy.

Blackstone Resources appoints Christoph von Aesch as Chief Financial Officer.

Oh, it's okay. He's a chief financial officer.

Ad hoc announcement pursuant to Art. 53 LR.

Ha! Oh, I don't like the sound of that. Never mind.

BAAR, Switzerland - (July 05, 2021) - Blackstone Resources AG is pleased to announce today the appointment of Christoph von Aesch as Chief Financial Officer.

Fair enough. 'Aren't they going to tell us anything about him, boss?' Give them a chance, Voice, FFS!

Christoph is a seasoned senior finance executive who brings extensive experience in mergers, acquisitions, and financing as well as establishment of global finance, risk management and tax functions. He most recently held the role as Group Assurance Officer at gategroup, the world's leading airline caterer. Prior to that, he was CFO of Capri Sun and held several senior leadership roles at Wild Flavors, Orascom Development as well as KPMG in Switzerland and Australia.


He holds an MBA from the University of Zurich and is a Swiss Certified Public Accountant.

Okay. 'What are his primary responsibilities, boss? Tell us!' Why are you so excited this morning? 'No reason. Well, I suppose I love my job.' Whatever.

Christoph's primary responsibilities are to support the ambitious growth initiatives Blackstone plans to undertake. This includes the management of the Group's capital structure as well as establishing  solid banking relationships, strengthening the finance organization, leading mergers, and acquisition projects as well as compliance activities.

NOW ... the big question: Is our Christoph excited, or what? 'A tenner says he's delighted.' Okay, Voice, you're on. 'No, no. You've been reading the PR email. I'm not stupid, you know.' Whatever.

"I am truly excited to join Blackstone Resources as CFO at this key stage of the company's growth, as we are swiftly increasing production capacity to commercialize our ground-breaking battery technology which will be followed by the integration of our unique supply chain assets. I look forward to leading our efforts to tap into the U.S. capital market in order to secure funding which will support expansion of our core businesses and further diversify our investor base," says Christoph von Aesch.

'He's "truly excited", not merely excited. You owe me ten pounds.' Shut up, idiot.

Okay. They want to tap into the U.S. capital market. I wonder what Elon says ...

"Buy some stupid dog coin or something!"

'Who was that?! Was that Elon, boss?'

No. That was "satire", Voice.

'Oh, okay.'

Never, never ... mind.




The ENDS will never end. There will always be more ENDS.

I wish it would end, but it can't.

'At least, not yet.'

Yes, yes.

No, no.

Whatever. But not yet.


Even when I say it three times, it's not enough.