Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Yoel Zaoui is leaving Goldman Sachs, and retiring

I always get really sad when a top financial shaman feels he can't hack it any more. This one is called Yoel Zaoui and he is/was Goldman's co-head of M&A. (That's Mysticism and Assassinations, for those who aren't familiar with the terminology. Actually, it should just be MA, Mystical Assassinations. That would make more sense. But Goldman has its own way of doing things.) There's no need to panic though because the bank has another head, Gene Sykes. He is also a top financial shaman, and he has no intention of leaving, thank God. The last thing I want is Lloyd phoning me up, screaming: 'Mikey, those shamans you trained are f**king useless! All of them! A bunch of f**king wasters!' Or some crazy nonsense like that. Anyway, I think it was Arthur Simmons who trained Gene, in that half-arsed college of his. Whatever happened to Arthur? Maybe I disposed of him. I can't remember. Maybe Gene did him in. Maybe Gene overheard me one astral night: 'Who will rid me of this turbulent shaman?'


Music update? Yeah. There's no harm in it. Progress is still painfully slow, but I am making progress. I still don't have the lyrics for Gilly, Gilly. It's no big deal. Even if it takes me another six months, I'll eventually have three great songs that no "active" songwriter in the world will be able to match. (I don't think we can consider guys like McCartney and Bacharach active these days.) It was my original intention to write nothing but trashy pop songs for the money only. But I should have known that my artistic pride would kick in at some stage.