Tuesday, 1 October 2013

America: if you're tired of capitalism, you're tired of life

America has had enough. It's fed up with capitalism, and fed up with life - the life of working, making money, struggling, putting food on the table. Yes, it's shutting down. / Dear reader(s), do you ever get those days when you just want to stay in bed and pull the duvet over your head? Well, that's America. Everyone is planning to stay in bed for the foreseeable future. / I think it's a brilliant idea. Americans work too hard. They hardly ever take holidays. Now life for them will be one big holiday. 'Vacation, Mikey.' What, Voice? 'Vacation.' What are you going on about? Sod off! / So, one big holiday. I hope they do something useful with their time. Staying in bed can get a bit boring after a while. I'm sure they have hobbies.


Oh, some great news. 'A new hedge fund, boss?' No. Danny Dyer is joining EastEnders! / I haven't watched the soap since I was a teenager in the Eighties because it's absolute shite: humourless, politically-correct, social-issue shite. But Danny should brighten things up. I don't have much faith in the scriptwriters though. Hopefully, Danny will be allowed to improvise his own dialogue. / Harold Pinter thought highly of him. I can just see Danny in The Caretaker or The Dumb Waiter. / There was a documentary of his on one of the Freeview channels a while ago, about UFOs. Danny comes out of this house - where some UFO nut has been showing him photographs of aliens - and says (something like): "I don't know what to think. My head's done in. I've just seen a picture of an alien sticking his head around the fucking kitchen door." Comedy gold!