Thursday, 10 October 2013

Ignis Asset Management has got a hedge fund!

This is exciting, I think. (I'm not sure.) / Ignis has got its first hedge fund! 'It was getting tired of the long-only shit, wasn't it?' Yeah. / So ... it's got itself a hedge fund. The first of four, apparently. 'Fucking hell! They're really pushing the boat out. What's it called, Mikey?' The Global Macro Government Bond fund. 'Nice. Shame about the macro stuff, but nice.' Guess who's managing it, Voice. 'Who?' Russ Oxley. 'Who the hell is Russ Oxley?!' I have no idea, but I'll be writing a conceptual post about him later. 'Why?! You don't even know the guy.' It'll be a chance to get to know him, won't it?

By the way, dear reader(s), the fund has been seeded with £25 million of internal capital. I know you like details like that. You get off on all that, don't you? What the fuck is wrong with you? 'Leave them alone, boss. They're only finance guys.' So? 'Sometimes, you just ask too much of these people.' What are you talking about, man? 'Oh come on, man! What are you going to be doing later, with Russ?' I'll be getting a-ROUND. 'Yeah, you'll be getting a-ROUND, which is great for us, and the mystical freaks: we love it. But it just scares everyone else.' Don't be absurd! 'They want the financial news, boss.' Listen, son, fuck the news, okay? Even those phoney arseholes aren't going to be reporting the news no more. 'What phoney arseholes?!' That's enough, Voice. 'Mikey -' That's enough!


Forget about it. / Music? I'm still rehearsing. / I'm going to put some new strings on my guitar this weekend. The Martin ones. 'You're getting serious!' Damn straight I am.

Lunch? Oh, cheese sandwich. With some pickle in it. Crisps. Yoghurt. Coke. The usual. Nothing amazing, but I like it.

Laters ...