Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Aviva Investors Multi-Strategy Target Income fund?

I'm listening to The Bobby Darin Story, dear reader(s). It's an album where Bobby talks about his biggest hits - and plays them, of course. Classics like Dream Lover. And Beyond the Sea is a cool song. I think - 'Boss?' What, Voice? 'How about this new Aviva Investors fund then?' You're having a laugh, son. There is no new fund. 'There is! They've called it the Multi-Strategy Target Income fund.' Yeah, right. Who's managing it? 'Aviva Investors is.' Ha! It's too early in the morning for your jokes, man. 'I'm serious, Mikey. Peter Fitzgerald, Nick Samouilhan and Brendan Walsh are managing it.' Are they Schroders guys? 'No. They work for Aviva Investors.' Oh, right. I suppose you think I was born yesterday, Voice? I was born a million years ago! 'Pete and Nick took over Justin's old funds.' Did they?! 'Yes.' Well, this is very interesting. Why aren't they in the pub? 'I don't know.' Christmas is only three weeks away, man! 'Yeah.' They're letting the team down. This is shocking!

Christ. I just can't understand it. Those mugs at Schroders will take care of business, surely? 'Maybe clients of Aviva Investors have been reading these posts and have complained.' Why?! 'Maybe they want their fund managers to do a day's work every now and then.' Oh. Well, they're fascists then. Fascist slave-drivers! And we all know that fascists are scum. Aviva Investors should just ignore them. Let them take their horrible money somewhere else!

That's enough Bobby Darin! What else have we got? Massive Attack, for a change. I haven't even listened to this album. I've got loads of albums on my media player I've never listened to. It's modern life. No one can concentrate on anything.


Music? My music?! Jesus. It's depressing, man. I think I'm going to have to forget about lead guitar for a while and just concentrate on the basics. I mean, rhythm. 'Do both, boss. But be like Coltrane!' Yeah. / I fear the John Coltrane solution is the only solution. The nuclear option, as it were. Play around the clock. 'Rock around the clock!' / I've read that on some of his records you can hear Coltrane practicing in the background while one of the other musicians is soloing. The man never stopped. Unless he fell asleep. I mean, he used to fall asleep with the sax in his mouth!

Lunch? Cheese sandwich. Ian Pizer? Christ knows! How many managers do they need on this one?