Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Mark Martin is getting to grips with his new fund at Neptune

Yeah, yeah ... straight to work! 'Wow!' / Well, well ... er, it's the UK Opportunities fund, which Mark took over from Scott MacLennan last week. Er, let me see, oh, Tuesday. He's only had eight days! 'Bloody hell!' Our Mark doesn't mess around, Voice. 'Obviously not.' He's already cut a few crap holdings. 'Really? Amazing!' Fundweb will tell the readers everything they need to know. I can't be bothered with the boring stuff.

No, I haven't got anything else to add. I wish Mark all the best, of course. (Why would I wish him all the worst?) Except ... / You'll be glad to hear, dear reader(s), that our Mark does mess a-ROUND. 'Oh, he doesn't mess around, boss, but he messes a-ROUND? Is that correct?' Yeah, he likes to get DIZZY, man. Real DIZZY. It's in his blood, and his fire. / So, after lunch, I'll be ... 'Taking him for a spin?' Yes. No. 294. It won't do Mark any harm to have his own conceptual post. I mean, named in his honour. 'What a lucky git!' He deserves it, after all. I just hope he appreciates the effort I'm making.


I'm in a funny mood this week. I just don't fancy writing about finance all that much. 'You're exhausted, boss, from all that analysis of the HSBC story last week.' Yeah, that's what it is! / It's a good job websites like Fundweb exist to help me out.

Anything else? 'Other news?!' Well, David Cameron is upset with the Church of England. I think he wants it to be more supportive, like the Church of Satan. 'Are you sure?' Maybe I've misunderstood. / It doesn't matter, son. You know I'm not interested in politics. And I'm not interested in organized religion. 'Jesus would be the same - if he were alive today.' I'm interested in music!

'Music?' Er, I had The Beatles on earlier. I need to find something else on my media player.

'Lunch?' Cheese sandwich. I'm not having a yoghurt though. I've got a small blackcurrant cheesecake. 'Nice.' Variety is the spice of life, my friend.