Tuesday, 28 June 2016

James Ind? Dynamic Absolute Return fund?

Oh, it's supposed to be a new fund. Christ! / Do you remember this, dear reader(s), (when James didn't update his LinkedIn profile)? -

Christ! Do I have to do everything for these people? (Remember when I had to correct Mike Belbeck's spelling mistakes?) / James Ind is working at GLG Partners now. He's joined the macro team - for his sins. They'll be launching a new fund for him soon. James is going to be managing a total return strategy. 'Sounds exciting, Mikey. You would think he would want to boast about it on his LinkedIn profile.' I know, Voice. I just can't understand the guy. 'Maybe he's lazy.' Who has ever heard of a lazy fund manager, man? 'Maybe he's so over the moon that he ain't thinking straight.' I don't know. I suppose there's a chance he doesn't care about LinkedIn. 'Well, it's Facebook for squares, isn't it?' Yeah. / Oh, guess who his boss is - or one of his bosses. 'Who?' Only Jamil Baz. 'That lunatic!' Yes. The man who thinks I'm going to be writing about financial disaster for the next twenty years. / Jamil, twenty  years from now I'll be a rock legend, son. I ain't doing this shit for another twenty years! 'You tell him, Mikey.' Unbelievable!

Right, two things. Firstly, Jamil Baz was on to something, as much as it pains me to admit it. I probably will be writing about financial disaster for the next twenty years BECAUSE(!) ... that's all we've got now, ain't it? [Since the conservatives in this green and pleasant land decided to wreck capitalism in a way that anarchists and socialists and terrorists aren't even capable of, don't even have the imagination for.] / Er ... 'And, secondly, boss?' Secondly, Voice, I have more bad news. James Ind isn't at GLG no more. 'Oh.' He's at Barings Bank now. 'Ha! A bank that went out of business in 1995.' Yes, James is another poor soul who has been fooled by the conmen. 'How does it even work, boss?' Well, I reckon these grifters approach guys like James and say: Ere, mate, do you fancy working for a top bank? I can get you in, but it's gonna cost you. Just slip me a monkey, and I'll see what I can do. 'Oh, that's clever.' Yeah, they're making a fortune out of this scam.


Anything else? The death of capitalism? I'm just wondering ... Russell Brand or David Cameron, you know? 'Jesus!' Our Russell talks a good game, sure. But Dave has got to be the man for me. / It's amazing how things have turned out ...

Music? I'm listening to the first three songs of U2's The Joshua Tree. It's a great start to an album.

My music? Don't ask! I'm still messing around with my new song, trying to get a decent recording of it.

Laters, man.