Thursday, 2 June 2016

Samsung Asset Management - is there such a thing?!

Er, yes, there is, dear reader(s)! Samsung has an asset management company! 'Amazing, boss!' My laptop is a Samsung, Voice. And I have an old Samsung phone somewhere. 'And now they've got this asset management thing! Will they have a cola soon?' Samsung Cola?! I don't know about that. / Actually, it's been around quite a while. Founded in 1998! 'The cola?!' No!

Samsung Asset Management is Korea's leading investment management company providing investment trust and mutual fund management, advisory and related services. Run by seasoned financial shamans armed with the most ancient mystical wisdom, Samsung Asset Management prides on its best-on-astral-plane track record and wide selection of sophisticated investment services.

Right, a couple of problems there. 'Korea, boss?' They mean South Korea, obviously. 'Thank God!' Yeah. / It's the "best-on-astral-plane" thing I'm concerned about. I've banned all financial activity on the astral plane. 'Don't they know they can only go for recreational purposes, meditation, etc.?' Well, they've forgotten. I'll have to remind them.

Christ! That's the shit I have to deal with as the world's foremost financial shaman. There's always someone who wants to break the rules and challenge my authority.

Anyway, the news is ... they're launching a new global macro hedge fund this year. So, I wish them all the best - as long as they stay away from the astral plane. 'When are you going to speak with them, boss?' Today.

...

Anything else? Politics? [I'm not writing about politics no more, but ...] I'm worried about Jeremy Corbyn, you know? I approve of most of his policies. [Capitalism is destroying itself, and people like David Cameron won't save it.] However, every time I see a picture or video clip of him in the news, his face seems to scream: Please leave me alone! I'm happy talking to my friends! Do you know what I mean? / There's still hope though. The Tories will get worse and worse, and the police may have some involvement, too.