Thursday, 27 October 2011

What do we actually know about Adam Zimbler?

Forget all the myths, the rumours, the lies. What do we actually know about Adam Zimbler? Any square could tell you that he was a trader at Goldman Sachs, and that he's (somehow!) set up this SLZ Capital Management - a firm with small-cap hedge funds: SLZ Capital Master Fund, SLZ Capital Partners, SLZ Capital Offshore Fund, all launched recently. Amazingly, he has even managed (somehow!) to drag Marc Diagonale into his little fantasy. However, it wouldn't be satisfying, would it, (no!) if any square were to tell us all this? Are we passive, and submissive, idiots, waiting, maybe begging, snivelling slags, rotten beggars(?!), for news, and facts, to come to us, helplessly, at the mercy of, on the whim of, all lost at sea with, I, er ...

It doesn't really matter. There's nothing we can know about Adam Zimbler that we can't imagine, so feverishly. Yes, I'm talking fevered imaginings! I'm afraid we all have them, whether we want them or not, and there's nothing to be afraid of. No one ever lost their mind by letting it drift a bit. Of course, I realize, and truly understand - seriously, I do - that some of you lack confidence. Why this should be, I have no idea. Are you men or mice? Are you women or ... whatever? / To be honest with you, I'm not even sure we're talking fevered imaginings. Aren't we intending to create our very own Adam Zimbler? Surely, that's the level of our ambition. We don't want to imagine what this hedge fund manager is like. Where's the fun in that? We want to bring him into existence in a form that appeals to us, yes? Well, speaking for myself, that's what I would like to do. Some people think I'm sick. That's their problem. They can fuck off.

Adam Zimbler, Zimbler, Zimbler! I'm getting a vibration, deep down. It's a mystic trip, and I'm taking everyone with me. (Where are you?) Wow! It's a shaker! Images bubbling up, my mouth, and out - look! There they go. I breathe them out the way Vishnu breathes out universes! Can you see Mr Zimbler(s)? Oh dear! Yes, there's more than one. What have I done? Enough is never enough with me, is it? Different colours as well! Blue Zimbler, miserable man, wondering if his funds will shine. Yellow Zimbler, full of cosmic love, oh, happy man! And the demonic man, obsessed with money, so greedy. Red Zimbler, a demon trader, demon hedgie.

I'll let them float off. They seem ... familiar. Am I the father of these colourful image men, these thought-forms? I must be, and I must be a super(sha)man, an aeronaut of the spirit. / And where were you, dear reader(s)? If you don't step up to the plate soon, we're going to have a falling out. This is how it is done. If I can do it, you can do it too. Don't you want to become a financial sha/man? I can't believe you're content to remain a mystic child.