Thursday 25 October 2018

Catapult

Okay, okay. I've got two posts to write today, for my sins, because I didn't do any writing yesterday. 'Why not, boss?' I was worn out, Voice. 'Oh.' And a bit depressed. 'Oh dear.' I'm feeling better now. 'Yippee!' Ha! Not that much. Christ! / Anyway, uh ... the jury is still out on sleep programming, in the scientific community, like. However, I reckon it might work, dear reader(s), BECAUSE(!) ... I was listening to The 10X Rule again last night, and I had a dream about me and Tony Robbins in a DIY store. 'Eh?' Yeah, it was a bit weird. Tony was helping me find some sticky tape to repair something in the house. 'Okay.' Yeah. And I had my earphones in, and he asked me what I was listening to. 'Ha! And you told him Grant Cardone. Brilliant! I bet that went down like a lead balloon.' Well, no, actually. He didn't mind. I think he was just happy that I was getting motivated, you dig? 'Yeah. Did he help you get the sticky tape then?' Well, I woke up at that point, with Cardone still jabbering in my ear.

Anyway, let's get down to business, blog fan(s)! Catapult! 'What's this, boss?' A PR email, Voice. The Catapult Network has announced £215 million additional investment for the UK's regional businesses. 'Oh, right.' Look! -

Hello Michael, the new Catapult initiative will help businesses access the UK's world-leading research expertise more easily, enabling them to grow faster, create more jobs and keep the UK at the forefront of urban and transport innovation. The centres will operate from sites in London and Milton Keynes. But is it enough? Director General of the EISA - Mark Brownridge comments:

Er, hang on a minute! Before we get to Mark. 'Who's that?!' Mark? 'Who said Hello Michael - ?' Ha! Tatiana. My mate. 'Oh, okay.' Yeah. No, listen. It probably isn't enough because of Brexit. The latest news, uh ... is that the port of Dover will shut down without a deal. The government will have to get emergency supplies of food and medicine into the country. 'But why, boss? Why?! Why is this happening?' We all know why, man. Let's not upset anybody. But we all know why. 'Jesus! Look, Mikey, just record your fucking songs, become a rock star, and then piss off to Malibu, son, yeah?' I'm working on it, Voice. I'm working on it! Seriously! / Anyway, uh, Mark Brownridge ...

The Modern Industrial Strategy and its varying facets serve as a vital vein of progression for the nation's network of self-start businesses. Pockets of innovation and entrepreneurial prowess in new-age sectors extend well beyond the capital, the traditional dominance of sectors such as Manufacturing in the Midlands, Financial Services in London and Technology and Media in London and the South East are by no means the complete picture. However, there are two sides to this story. One is the momentous growth of London - a city that undoubtedly sets a benchmark standard to our global counterparts. The other is the sluggish performance of Britain's older industrial towns - neglected regions worst hit by de-industrialization and thus slowest to recover from the recession of 2008-09. We must ensure as policy makers, business leaders and commentators to ensure the presence of London as its own global entity is managed in line with a global footprint that encompasses the length and breadth of the British Isles.

Okay, okay. Thanks, Mark! / Oh, there's more! -

The UK is a nation of outstanding entrepreneurs, not to be overlooked due to geographical bias or the historical performance of global cities that will take years of growth to match. There is a vital need to bring more well-paid jobs, pools of resource and transport infrastructure back to the towns that make up the vast majority of this country's population. Bolstered by the right mix of macroeconomic, regional and innovation based support - such as the Catapult initiative - the UK's regions will galvanize to form a business profile fit for a global stage. However - as with all policy-led initiatives - this must be a catalyst that is amplified at industry and community level to ensure real-change. 

Yeah, yeah. That's great. Thanks, Mark. However, ... ... ... Brexit, you dig?

Well, ENDS.

And, uh ... no, no, please, Tatiana, I don't want to interview him. I want to eat my cheese sandwich, if that's all right, and then play my guitar for a bit, before this afternoon's post. 'What will you be writing about, boss?' How the hell should I know?!

Laters!