Thursday, 4 October 2018

Two new characters for HSBC Global Asset Management!

Yeah, and it's a PR email, dear reader(s), so don't take it literally or anything. 'What does that mean?!' Oh, hello, again, Voice! I mean, don't buy or sell or do anything based on the information displayed here. 'Oh.' No endorsements! / Anyway ...

HSBC Global Asset Management today announces that it has further strengthened its Fixed Income offering to clients with the hire of two new senior professionals into its Fixed Income team. Both will be based in London, reporting to Ernst Osiander, Head of Global Bonds.

Er, today? The other day, actually. 'When did you receive this email, boss?' Uh. The other day. Obviously. / Well ...

Backed by dedicated global dealing, research and risk management teams, HSBC Global Asset Management offers a range of active and passive fixed income solutions all utilizing a globally consistent investment philosophy and process. This is coupled with local solutions where needed, drawing on the local knowledge and enterprise of an overall investment team of more than 600 investment professionals and around 2,200 employees across 26 locations.

Yeah, okay, okay, we don't need a bloody advert! Just tell us about the guys. Come on, Ernst! Pull your finger out! 'What, Blofeld?!' No. No. Osiander.

Ernst Osiander, Head of Global Bonds, HSBC Global Asset Management, commented: "I'm pleased to welcome both Oliver and Richard to HSBC Global Asset Management. Their hire will help us further strengthen our fixed income offering and help us continue to build our global capabilities in line with client demand for long-term investment products."

Thanks, Ernst! / Right. Let's hear more about Oliver.

Oliver Boulind joins from Aberdeen Asset Management where, in his most recent role, he developed and implemented the asset allocation process used to manage global aggregate and total return bond portfolios, as well as managing traditional benchmark-driven global credit strategies. Prior to that, Oliver was at AllianceBernstein, Invesco and JPMorgan in credit analysis and portfolio management roles.

Great! I mean, that all seems above board. No problems there. Do you see any problems, Voice? 'No, boss. Our Oliver seems to be totally kosher. Good luck to him!' Yes, okay. / Right. Er, Richard.

Richard Balfour joins from Barings, where he was an investment manager on the Multi-Sector Fixed Income team, managing a range of global bond portfolios. Prior to this, Richard was a portfolio manager at Credit Suisse Asset Management, initially managing money market and short duration bond funds, before taking on responsibility for the firm's UK gilt portfolios.

Oh, shit! Oh, no! 'What, boss?! What's the matter?' Didn't you read it?! Richard was recently working at ... Barings Bank. 'Ha!' Oh, Christ, man! / Dear reader(s), we all know that Barings Bank went out of business in 1995. So, where the hell has Richard actually been working?! 'He probably fell victim to the grifters, boss.' Yes, Voice. Oh dear. Those evil recruiters who promise gullible finance types a great job - for a big fee, you understand. 'Ha!' And then the poor guy or girl finds himself, herself, whatever, in an empty, abandoned building wondering where everyone is. FFS!

Well, at least he's got a genuine job now. / Good luck, Richard, mate!


And, uh ... have a nice weekend, alligator(s)! 'Bye, crocodile(s)!' [We mean YOU(!), kook(s)!]