Monday, 29 October 2018

It's the Budget today!

Okay, okay. / Yes, yes ... and we've got some questions from Mark Brownridge, courtesy of Kestell. 'Who?!' Kestell, Voice. The PR guy. 'Okay. Well, as long as he's happy.' He is happy. 'What happened to Tatiana, boss?' I don't know, man. These PR people live in a world of their own.

Anyway, Mark's questions are regarding, uh ... entrepreneurs' relief. 'Oh. / Is it like a charity gig thing, boss?' Ha! No. 'Okay.' Listen, I'm going to answer Mark's questions. 'Go on then.' I mean, the guy is clearly very confused, and he wants my help.

Actually, we should quote this bit of the email first -

Hi Michael,

With the Chancellor looking to end austerity, raise money for the NHS, and prepare for life outside of the European Union in the Budget on Monday, there has been plenty of discussion around reducing the Entrepreneurs' Relief for those who sell or give away their business.

Mark Brownridge, Director General of the Enterprise Investment Scheme Association is keen to discuss the implications of such a plan.

Okay, okay. That's just to set the scene, like. But I ain't discussing anything with Mark. 'You're too busy, boss. Don't these people realize you're writing world-beating songs as well as creating a new form of literature on this blog?' They don't realize, man. They're too wrapped up in themselves. / Right -

How much would Entrepreneurs' Relief save the taxpayer if it were reduced or scrapped?

Christ! I have absolutely no idea, son. All I can tell you is, there are thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets, and millions of people are using food banks. So, uh ... let's get things in perspective, yeah? FFS!

Does the Government need to be more pro-business to prepare for life outside of the EU?

No. No, it doesn't. What it needs to do is ... REMAIN!!! in the EU before our present shitshow gets a whole lot worse.

British start-ups and scale-ups are key to Brexit-proofing the UK economy.

Well, that's not even a question, is it? 'Ha! He's lost the plot, boss. You've upset him with your answers.' Okay. I'll just say there's no such thing as Brexit-proofing the UK economy. It can't be done.

How companies that use schemes such as the SEIS and EIS are net contributors to the Treasury in the long-term.

Er ... how? I don't know. Is he asking me?! 'Mark should know, boss. What's going on with this guy?' I don't know, Voice. Well, let's leave it there, blog fan(s).

Utterly bizarre!

Is it lunchtime yet?


Anything else? Music? So, uh ... it seems I play my guitar better after a few incantations adapted from Tony Robbins. Who knew?! 'Ha! What about Jordan Belfort's BoomBoom?' Ha! I don't need it, son. / You see, pop fan(s), there's no point in playing the guitar for hours on end if you're in a depressed or disempowered state. You need to manage your state, you dig? Five minutes of incantations now and I'm ready to rock! 'Big time!' Believe it, baby!

[Oh, another Robbins thing I'm going to try is visualize playing a whole song in my head before I actually play it.]