Wednesday, 24 April 2019


They reckon angels will cope with Brexit. 'Eh?! Who reckons, boss?' They, Voice. A PR email. 'Oh.' Yeah.

As 57% of SMEs predict Brexit will cause a recession, how can they best prepare?

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And, uh ... 'Christ! Is that from the email?' That? No. No. That's Robbie Williams, that is. This is from the email -

In a time of huge political and economic uncertainty it is perhaps more important than ever that small businesses are prepared for whatever challenges are presented by the current economic cycle. Events such as the financial crash of 2008 and Black Wednesday in 1992 demonstrate the seismic events that come along with an economic cycle that need to be navigated successfully by SMEs if they are to survive turmoil and upheaval.

And it all seems reasonably sane. But then -

The angel investor is unique in providing both funds and, expertise and experience to the businesses that they back. Not only this, but as sector alumni with vast experience in business, angels have often lived and worked through a number of economic cycles and challenges. This leaves them perfectly placed to help guide the younger, perhaps less experienced entrepreneurs and business leaders.

Okay, okay. James - the PR email guy - is sounding like Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider now. You know, dear reader(s), the bit where he's stoned and talking about aliens living and working amongst us. 'Ha!' I half expect James to say, "Me and Jenny Tooth saw forty of them flying in formation." / Anyway, let's hear from Jenny -

Jenny Tooth, CEO of the UK Business Angels Association, discusses the importance of experience ranging over full economic cycles: "Navigating uncertainty and the uncharted waters of Brexit is in the forefront of most small businesses' minds at the moment. Whilst it is impossible to know what exactly the outcome will be, the experience of angels could be invaluable. Angels that have previously dealt with long-term recessions and massive economic fallout, generated by events such as the 2008 crash, are the perfect source of knowledge and expertise as well as funding for SMEs looking to move forward."

Yeah, yeah. Listen! I don't think angels will cope with Brexit. Not at all. 'Or any supernatural beings, boss.' Well, how will you cope, Voice? 'Me?! Ha! I'll just piss off to the astral plane and I won't come back.' Oh, so you're going to leave me on my own? 'Sorry, boss, but if the worst happens, it will be every man and woman and disembodied voice for themselves.' Right. Thanks.

What a bastard!


Okay, okay. Anything else? The weather's turned cold again, kook(s). It might rain.

Cornwall? Obviously, I prefer the place when it's sunny and warm, but I don't mind bad weather there too much. Cornwall is paradise on earth in good weather, but when it's bad ... there's a mystical, melancholic, mysterious, uh ... marvellous vibe, you dig?

I wish I could go for eight weeks again. [January to March, 1991.]* My regret is that I went to the Looe/Polperro area, and not St Ives - which I didn't know much about at the time. Don't get me wrong! Looe and Polperro are lovely. I'm just addicted to St Ives, that's all.

I've told you before about the eight weeks, haven't I? Yes! I used to love the pub at lunchtime in Polperro. A couple of pints of cider. Then I would sit on that bench and stare at the sea - or mist, fog, really - while listening to Leonard Cohen's Songs From a Room. Happy days!

Oh, and I wrote a load of poems there. [All destroyed.] Influenced by Dylan Thomas, mostly, with a touch of Arthur Rimbaud. There was no harm in it. The best one was Metamorphosis and Distortion, where I imagined the clouds in the sky were my ribcage. Or something like that. I don't know. It doesn't matter, does it?


*I wasn't working there, I'm glad to say. I was living off my savings. I rented a one-bedroom holiday flat for only £65 a week. Unbelievable! It costs that much now to stay in a bed and breakfast for one night.