Monday 22 April 2019

[No. 701] Almost like being gone

Probably.

And to, uh ...[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[1], and to, uh ...[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[2], and it's not dedication, no, no, no ... / and it's something sicker and more desperate than that[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... everything is dead!!![1], and it's not dedi cation, no, no, no ... / and it's something sic ker and more des perate than that[2], and ... or feels like it, very much[1], and ... e verything i s de ad!!![2], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're broken ... and really other[1], and ... or feels like it, very much[2], and down, down ... down[1], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b roken ... and really other[2], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[1], and down, down ... down[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[2], and deeper, deeper - too![1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and losing it all ...[1], and d eeper, dee per - too![2], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the devil created the universe[1], and losing it all ...[2], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[1], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the de vil created the universe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[1], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[2], and it's a tragedy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and it's a tr agedy[2], and tired[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and laughter is no kind of medicine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[1], and tired[2], and struggling[1], and laughter is no kind of medi cine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[2], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[1], and struggling[2], and letting go is ...[1], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[2], and a FUCKING REASON(!!!) ... is not needed[1], and letting go is ...[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with blood splattered, so beautifully[1], and a F UCKING R EASON(!!!) ... is not needed[2], and empty, too[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with bl ood splattered, so beautifully[2], and no, no, no control ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[1], and empty, too[2], and crying is not helpful ...[1], and no, no, no cont rol ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[2], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, sort of thoughts[1], and crying is not h elpful ...[2], and ... and[1], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s ort of thou ghts[2], and ... next time, all the time[1], and ... and[2], and fast, or slow / and definitely low[1], and ... next time, all the time[2], and to, uh ...[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l ow[2], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and it's not d  e  d  i  c  a  t  i  o  n, no, no, no ... / and it's something s  i  c  k  e  r and more d  e  s  p  e  r  a  t  e than that[3], and ... e  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g i  s d  e  a  d!!![3], and ... or feels like it, very much[3], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b  r  o  k  e  n ... and really other[3], and down, down ... down[3], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and d  e  e  p  e  r, d  e  e  p  e  r - too![3], and losing it all ...[3], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the d  e  v  i  l created the universe[3], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[3], and it's a t  r  a  g  e  d  y[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and tired[3], and laughter is no kind of m  e  d  i  c  i  n  e ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[3], and struggling[3], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[3], and letting go is ...[3], and a F  U  C  K  I  N  G R  E  A  S  O  N(!!!) ... is not needed[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with b  l  o  o  d splattered, so beautifully[3], and empty, too[3], and no, no, no c  o  n  t  r  o  l ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[3], and crying is not h  e  l  p  f  u  l ...[3],  and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s  o  r  t of t  h  o  u  g  h  t  s[3], and ... and[3], and ... next time, all the time[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l  o  w[3], and

And to, uh ...[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[1], and to, uh ...[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[2], and it's not dedication, no, no, no ... / and it's something sicker and more desperate than that[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... everything is dead!!![1], and it's not dedi cation, no, no, no ... / and it's something sic ker and more des perate than that[2], and ... or feels like it, very much[1], and ... e verything i s de ad!!![2], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're broken ... and really other[1], and ... or feels like it, very much[2], and down, down ... down[1], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b roken ... and really other[2], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[1], and down, down ... down[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[2], and deeper, deeper - too![1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and losing it all ...[1], and d eeper, dee per - too![2], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the devil created the universe[1], and losing it all ...[2], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[1], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the de vil created the universe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[1], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[2], and it's a tragedy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and it's a tr agedy[2], and tired[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and laughter is no kind of medicine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[1], and tired[2], and struggling[1], and laughter is no kind of medi cine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[2], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[1], and struggling[2], and letting go is ...[1], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[2], and a FUCKING REASON(!!!) ... is not needed[1], and letting go is ...[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with blood splattered, so beautifully[1], and a F UCKING R EASON(!!!) ... is not needed[2], and empty, too[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with bl ood splattered, so beautifully[2], and no, no, no control ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[1], and empty, too[2], and crying is not helpful ...[1], and no, no, no cont rol ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[2], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, sort of thoughts[1], and crying is not h elpful ...[2], and ... and[1], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s ort of thou ghts[2], and ... next time, all the time[1], and ... and[2], and fast, or slow / and definitely low[1], and ... next time, all the time[2], and to, uh ...[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l ow[2], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and it's not d  e  d  i  c  a  t  i  o  n, no, no, no ... / and it's something s  i  c  k  e  r and more d  e  s  p  e  r  a  t  e than that[3], and ... e  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g i  s d  e  a  d!!![3], and ... or feels like it, very much[3], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b  r  o  k  e  n ... and really other[3], and down, down ... down[3], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and d  e  e  p  e  r, d  e  e  p  e  r - too![3], and losing it all ...[3], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the d  e  v  i  l created the universe[3], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[3], and it's a t  r  a  g  e  d  y[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and tired[3], and laughter is no kind of m  e  d  i  c  i  n  e ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[3], and struggling[3], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[3], and letting go is ...[3], and a F  U  C  K  I  N  G R  E  A  S  O  N(!!!) ... is not needed[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with b  l  o  o  d splattered, so beautifully[3], and empty, too[3], and no, no, no c  o  n  t  r  o  l ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[3], and crying is not h  e  l  p  f  u  l ...[3],  and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s  o  r  t of t  h  o  u  g  h  t  s[3], and ... and[3], and ... next time, all the time[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l  o  w[3], and

And to, uh ...[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[1], and to, uh ...[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[2], and it's not dedication, no, no, no ... / and it's something sicker and more desperate than that[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... everything is dead!!![1], and it's not dedi cation, no, no, no ... / and it's something sic ker and more des perate than that[2], and ... or feels like it, very much[1], and ... e verything i s de ad!!![2], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're broken ... and really other[1], and ... or feels like it, very much[2], and down, down ... down[1], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b roken ... and really other[2], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[1], and down, down ... down[2], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[1], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[2], and deeper, deeper - too![1], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[2], and losing it all ...[1], and d eeper, dee per - too![2], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the devil created the universe[1], and losing it all ...[2], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[1], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the de vil created the universe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[1], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[2], and it's a tragedy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and it's a tr agedy[2], and tired[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and laughter is no kind of medicine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[1], and tired[2], and struggling[1], and laughter is no kind of medi cine ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[2], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[1], and struggling[2], and letting go is ...[1], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[2], and a FUCKING REASON(!!!) ... is not needed[1], and letting go is ...[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with blood splattered, so beautifully[1], and a F UCKING R EASON(!!!) ... is not needed[2], and empty, too[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with bl ood splattered, so beautifully[2], and no, no, no control ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[1], and empty, too[2], and crying is not helpful ...[1], and no, no, no cont rol ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[2], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, sort of thoughts[1], and crying is not h elpful ...[2], and ... and[1], and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s ort of thou ghts[2], and ... next time, all the time[1], and ... and[2], and fast, or slow / and definitely low[1], and ... next time, all the time[2], and to, uh ...[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l ow[2], and to ... still ... be spinning a-ROUND, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and it's not d  e  d  i  c  a  t  i  o  n, no, no, no ... / and it's something s  i  c  k  e  r and more d  e  s  p  e  r  a  t  e than that[3], and ... e  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g i  s d  e  a  d!!![3], and ... or feels like it, very much[3], and one spin ... is a lot ... like another ... when you're b  r  o  k  e  n ... and really other[3], and down, down ... down[3], and a rhyme now - !!! / and it's not ... all ... that is needed ... by some "thing" ... that pretends ... to be alive[3], and ... 'Ha, ha!'[3], and d  e  e  p  e  r, d  e  e  p  e  r - too![3], and losing it all ...[3], and consciousness ness ... is an evil joke / and the d  e  v  i  l created the universe[3], and, so ... it's a sad miracle, yes[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and not even caring[3], and it's a t  r  a  g  e  d  y[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and tired[3], and laughter is no kind of m  e  d  i  c  i  n  e ... / ... and idiots will do or say ANYTHING for no reason[3], and struggling[3], and, well, maybe ... it's nice or not ... to try ... or not ... and, uh, to believe ... or not, what?[3], and letting go is ...[3], and a F  U  C  K  I  N  G R  E  A  S  O  N(!!!) ... is not needed[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, a-ROUND here ... / ... and with b  l  o  o  d splattered, so beautifully[3], and empty, too[3], and no, no, no c  o  n  t  r  o  l ... was ever needed, oh, didn't know[3], and crying is not h  e  l  p  f  u  l ...[3],  and, Christ! ... it's all fixed NOW, anyway ... all here, such words, such feelings, s  o  r  t of t  h  o  u  g  h  t  s[3], and ... and[3], and ... next time, all the time[3], and fast, or slow / and definitely l  o  w[3], and