Tuesday 7 December 2021

Despite lingering anxieties about The Thing ...

Uh. 'PR email, boss?' Yeah.

Despite lingering anxieties about The Thing and a variety of economic and commercial issues, the majority of SMEs believe it is now imperative to begin building back from the crisis. They are ready to step up their business investment, with ambitious plans for recruitment, renewal of equipment and machinery, and both domestic and international expansion.

Now hang on a minute! "Building back" is a phrase that those dodgy people use. 'What dodgy people?!' Christ! Building back means taking your business, your home, and your savings. Basically, taking your life. 'Oh.' Then you'll be completely dependent on the state. Government officials will tell you what you can do, and what you can't do. They will control every aspect of your life. But whatever! As long as you're happy. 'I'm a voice on the astral plane. They can't touch me!' I'm not talking about you, Voice. 'Who then?' The firm that sent me this email.

Will you be able to cover this? Happy to send pictures if needed.

I don't want pictures, man. Pictures of what, a fucking gulag?! No thank you.

Anyway ...

Fintech business lender MarketFinance asked 2,000 SME owners across the UK about their outlook for 2022 and beyond, gauging their short and long-term plans for business investment and growth. MarketFinance has today released a comprehensive research report of its findings, which are summarized here.

Actually, no. I'm not copying and pasting their summary. I'm going straight to Anil.

Come on, son!

Anil Stocker, CEO at MarketFinance, comments: "It's clear that the business environment has shifted and SMEs are looking ahead with a quietly confident and cautiously optimistic view. UK businesses intend to ramp up growth through domestic and international expansion, digital transformation and even M&A activity. But as they reset their post-Thing goals, they'll need to be confident of their funding base."

Yeah, maybe. 'No mention of gulags, boss.' Shut up! 

"Given that so many SMEs are looking outside of traditional routes in their search for finance, we're particularly proud to have been accredited by the British Business Bank as one of the few alternative providers under The Recovery Loan Scheme. Schemes like the RLS are a golden opportunity for SMEs looking to gear up for growth, providing easily accessible funding at a lower cost across a wide range of products. We expect to see a large number of SMEs taking advantage of the scheme over the next 6 months as their growth and expansion efforts gain momentum and they invest in ambitious plans for 2022 and beyond."

Yeah, all right.

ENDS

...

Anything else?

No.

Laters.