Tuesday, 21 December 2021

I've got a PR email from Detlef and the gang

But I ain't doing it today. I'll - excuse me a moment, dear kook(s), some prat is on his mobile phone right outside my window. 'Oh, boss, I hate it when this happens.' Yeah, yeah. You don't have a window, Voice, do you? 'Well, I can share your window, can't I?' Whatever.

Anyway, I'll do the email tomorrow, or tomorrow. 'Or tomorrow.' Ha! I'm not working Friday, idiot!

Listen! I'm not in the mood for finance today. [For immediate release, Nsikan? Do me a favour!] But I will be tomorrow. Maybe in the evening, I don't know. I might go out for a walk in the morning - as long as the chivatos haven't been deployed yet. 'They haven't.' Well, that's a relief. Otherwise they'll get what Lalin got. I don't give a fuck. 'Pachanga wanted to waste that mutha.' I know!

Anyway ... I was rehearsing my BIG TEN last night, all of them - even the three with incomplete lyrics - and I fear ... I may have gone too far. 'What do you mean, boss?' Well, these songs are going to make me the biggest star in the world. 'Oh.' And do I really want that? I mean, there's no way I won't end up in a Spanish castle like Jim Maclaine. There's just no way. It's practically nailed on. Do you know what I mean? 'Mikey, come on, man. You've got to do this.' Yeah, yeah. 'Or you could destroy the songs.' I can't do that, Voice! Not after all the work I've done. 'Embrace your destiny then!' Oh, Christ. Yeah, I suppose.

Just let me enjoy one last Christmas of normality, kooks. I won't be able to have a farewell fandango for the groover in Cornwall, will I? But I can enjoy Christmas, you dig? 'Yeah.' I can almost taste the mince pies as I write this.

Okay, okay. What am I listening to? Nothing at the moment. Sadly, I don't have any Christmas music on my media player. Well, I have two songs. The Lennon one, and the Wham one. 'Put them on!' All right.

Both of these songs are amazing, man! No one writes Christmas shit like this these days.

We're living in a degraded age, my friends. But it's all going to change. Believe me.