Tuesday 18 March 2008

Chaos in the markets

O Big Herb, where art thou? Why hast thou forsaken us?

That's what I overheard one banker say yesterday. I told him to pull himself together, grow up, and start speaking proper, modern English. Some people! Big Herb has not forsaken us. He's on the astral plane right now, working his balls off and trying to bring some stability to the markets. Have a bit of faith. Has Big Herb ever let us down in the past? No.

But the markets are in a right state. Bear Stearns has gone down the toilet, Lehman Brothers lost 48.5 per cent of its value at one point yesterday (19 per cent at close), MF Global has been forced to deny rumours that Joseph Lewis is a client, the Fed may need to make another interest rate cut (it can't keep cutting), UBS … oh, it's chaos!

BUT I AM STAYING POSITIVE.

I AM THE MONEY KING. I CAN DO ANYTHING.

BELIEVE IN ME. BELIEVE IN BIG HERB. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.