Friday 28 March 2008

Tisbury Capital withdrawals

I don't like to see this sort of thing, Mr Griffin, but I'm afraid I can't help you.

Dear reader, let me explain. Investors in Tisbury Capital are crawling over each other to withdraw their money (£670 million) from the London-based hedge fund's assets under management because of some screw-up in the States. And now Gerard Griffin - the former Citadel trader who runs Tisbury - wants me to put a 'diabolical curse on these investors'. His exact words.

Gerard, mate, who do you think I am, Jack Pickles? I only do curses on very special occasions, normally for close friends who are desperate for my help. Yes, I tried to help Drake Management at the beginning of January when it found itself in a similar situation - but I have spent time in the desert with four or five of the Drake guys and we're good friends. With respect, Gerard, I hardly know you. Besides, I don't want to get a reputation for black magic.

So, sorry, mate. I know how troublesome investors can be - they wet their pants at the slightest bit of bad news. Hopefully, they will see sense. Good luck to you.