Thursday, 20 March 2008

HBOS: the hunt is on!

Watch out! Low life City traders have been spreading false rumours about Halifax Bank of Scotland. Shares in the bank fell by more than 17 per cent yesterday after the rumours went around - claiming that the bank was seeking emergency funding and was about to collapse. The Daily Mail says (on its front page!) that one trader may have made £100 million from the fall in HBOS shares.

Well, well, well. Okay, calm down. Have no fear - because award-winning financial psychic Keith Busby is on the case. He told me this morning (rather hysterically, as it happens), 'Oh, I'm gonna get these motherfuckers, these badass rumour-mongers. I'm gonna hunt them down like dogs, and bring them to justice. You better believe it, baby. I'm like Dirty Harry. I'm like, er, what's his name, Steven Seagal. Oh yes, this time it's personal. I got my crystal ball out. I got my tarot cards ready to rock. Mark my words. They won't escape me. I want them. I want them so bad I can taste 'em.'