Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Diamondback Capital Management raided by the Feds

This is my first post since last night. I've been away so long! Some mutha link to me, please! Because I deserve it. You know I do.

But enough of that. I don't give a shit about no country club nonsense. [I write better stuff in my sleep than all the WANK they link to.] I'm not in with those squares. I'm out on my own, prowling around, a lone wolf. So be it!

But enough of this [that!]. Let's get down to business. Diamondback Capital Management has been raided by the Feds. And not just Diamondback! Level Global Investors and Loch Capital Management too! What's going on?

The FBI reckons there's insider trading at these hedge funds. God knows how many others. Is every hedge fund in the world involved? Let's thank our lucky stars that the Feds know nothing about the astral plane.

O Master, why do you defend these people? You're as bad as Jack Pickles.

O my child, I am nothing like Jack Pickles! How dare you say that! Jack Pickles murders and kidnaps and extorts and - I could go on! But insider trading isn't so -

O Master, I'm shocked.

Yeah, like Claude Rains you're shocked. Don't give me that. You know what goes on. You've been there yourself.

I'm just a voice!

That's no defence. If they ever come for you on the plane, you'll have to do better than 'I'm just a voice'.

I'm just a voice!

Shut it! How do I go on? And on and on and on? With a perforated eardrum on top of everything else. With the cold. With nightmares. With an angel, out of reach. With so many misunderstandings. FBI agents seized documents. Those poor hedgies are suffering now. But we all suffer. I need something to hold on to. Like Van Gogh, like Rimbaud. My suffering has meaning. David Ganek suffers. Timothy and Todd McSweeney suffer. Where is the meaning? Will they learn? I believe they will be able to squeeze something from the experience. Despair is a lemon. My life is a pancake. When do we eat pancakes?

You're not making any sense. Shrove Tuesday. Something to do with sins. Repent!

I'm not an evil man.