Monday, 6 July 2015

AlphaBridge Capital Management settles and closes

Oh, I love a happy ending. You see, dear reader(s), AlphaBridge had some trouble with the SEC. They were accused of fraudulently inflating the prices of securities in hedge fund portfolios they managed, Tommy and Mickey. [As if they would do something like that!] But ... it's all over now, as Mick Jagger once sang. They've settled with the SEC, paid $5 million of their hard-earned. 'A lot of money, boss.' Well, to some people, Voice. Some people would consider it a lot of money.

A [corrected, for Christ's sake, not "an"] SEC investigation found that AlphaBridge Capital Management told investors and its auditor that it obtained independent price quotes from broker-dealers for certain unlisted, thinly-traded residential mortgage-backed securities. AlphaBridge instead gave internally-derived valuations to broker-dealer representatives to pass off as their own. The inflated valuation of these assets caused the funds to pay higher management and performance fees to AlphaBridge. More, than is healthy.

But as I say, a happy ending. The SEC is happy. [A bit of extra cash for the Christmas party.] And the boys are happy, Tommy and Mickey, because they can move on with their lives and do something a bit more interesting and enjoyable.

Like form a rock band! 'Is that what they're going to be doing, Mikey?' Er ... I don't know. It's what I would do.


Other news? Greece? The "No" vote? Well, I think the Greeks did the right thing yesterday. It was just like that scene in 300 when King Leonidas kicked those messengers down that big hole: THIS IS SPARTA!!! You know, with the Greek people being the king and the creditors being the messengers. 'What?! Eh?!' It's the same sort of thing, man.

Music? No, I'm not forming a rock band. I'm on my own. That's the way I like it. / I'm listening to John Mayall's Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton. Great guitar playing! Clapton started learning when he was fifteen, and by twenty-one he was coming out with this shit! [I mean good shit, you dig?] As awesome as it is though, I'm confident I'll be able to get to the same level. 'Yeah, boss?' Give me another eighteen months, Voice. I'm starting to make serious progress. / Readers(s), guitar talent is a decision, not a gift. Believe!