Monday, 13 July 2015

Charlie Parker has been "instrumental" at Neptune Investment Management!

So says chief executive Robin Geffen. ['Amazing, boss!' Yes, Voice, it is.] And I phoned Robin earlier. (I was absolutely desperate to know more. 'Really?') He told me: "Charlie just plays his saxophone all day long in the office. We don't care. It actually relaxes us. We might get some strings in, too." [Charlie Parker with Strings - ?!] Well, I asked Robin about Charlie's role. I mean, he was head of strategy at Neptune, dear reader(s), but has recently been promoted to head of distribution. "Distribution? Nah, screw that square shit, baby. Our Charlie is too cool a cat to get involved in distribution." ['Unbelievable!' YES! / And there's more ...] "I've decided to follow the example of Aviva Investors. From now on, all of my people will be pursuing their passion at work, you dig?" 'Ha!' Well, I told him straight: I dig it, baby!

Well, well ... / 'Wow!' Pretty impressive, eh? This is the revolution I've been talking about. Finance types aren't going into the desert like the old days. [The desert is dead.] They're just abandoning their work to find fulfilment with their hobbies, or maybe going to the pub and the park. 'Thanks to Aviva Investors, of course, boss.' (And let's not forget Cantab with their Lego, Voice. Er ...) BUT(!), but ... it all comes from me, originally, you know. ['You?!' Me! 'Oh yes, obviously.'] I was the one who fucked everybody's head up. The important shamanic work I did in 2008 and 2009 led to Aviva Investors saying: Man, let's hang out. The sun is shining ... Or whatever, yeah? Words like that.

Everything is beautiful! We don't wanna be stuck in no office, working ... mere slaves for the fascist scum.


Where will George Osborne be when it all falls apart? He has so much faith in the City. He imagines the bankers and the hedgies will lead the economic recovery.

Oh, he doesn't know about me. And he doesn't know about YOU(!). / Children, it's summertime. Listen! Charlie is playing ...