Monday, 9 July 2018

£200 million!!!

Right. It's my fresh start today, so I don't want anyone upsetting me. 'Like who?!' Er ... like you. 'Oh. What have I done?!' It's just the sound of you, man, gives me the creeps. 'Oh, lovely. That's lovely, that is, boss.' Shut up, idiot!

Okay, okay. Did you have a nice weekend, dear reader(s)? Did you do anything interesting? Elon built a submarine at the weekend. Did you do anything like that? No, I didn't think so.

Anyway, let's get down to business (PR email) -

London, United Kingdom - ClearlySo, Europe's leading impact investment bank, announced today that client capital raising activity has increased 200 percent since 2016 and has now surpassed £200 million. This marks a dramatic acceleration as ClearlySo's clients have raised more capital in the last two years than in the previous eight.

£200 million!!! That's all right, ain't it? / But what is impact investing?

Impact investing, which considers social, environmental and/or ethical impact (the third dimension) alongside risk and financial return, has grown rapidly in recent years. Research increasing demonstrates that investment opportunities exist that are both high impact and financial return - and there is no necessary trade-off [between the two].

Okay. Uh ... / The third dimension. I see. And is there a fourth dimension? Also, shouldn't that be "increasingly" rather than "increasing"? I think it should. 'Boss!' What? 'Why have they put "between the two" in square brackets?' Ah, well, that's one of the mysteries of the universe. 'Really?' No, not really. / And - unnecessary?

Okay. Anyway, I think it's time we heard from Rodders. 'Who?!' Rodney Schwartz. 'And who the hell is Rodney Schwartz when he's at home?!' I have no idea, Voice. But when he's in the office, he's the chief executive of ClearySo. 'Oh.' Look -

Rodney Schwartz, chief executive of ClearlySo, stated: "It is gratifying, after so many years of toil, to see investors embracing the idea of values-driven investing. They see that their clients (pension funds, HNWIs and Limited Partners) increasingly care about the positive impacts of their financial assets. Institutions which ignore this surging interest do so at their peril."

Ha! Notice the cheeky use of "increasingly", dear reader(s). Our Rodders is no fool. 'You should take your hat off to him, boss.' Yeah, I will. 'When?' Later.

[Disclosure: I don't have a fucking hat.]



Okay, okay. Anything else? Brexit? Ha! It's like The Raft of the Medusa. I mean, the government - and even the country. 'The Medusa Touch?' That as well, probably. Never mind. / Music?  I want two more songs like Nothing. Just saying.

Laters, blog and pop fan(s)!