Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Euan Munro on those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

Okay, okay. Yeah, I've been speaking to my mate again, Euan Munro, the chief executive of Aviva Investors. 'A mind connection, boss?' No, no. Ha! Not in this heat. Christ! 'Oh. A soul connection then.' Are you stupid, Voice?! If it's too hot for a mind connection, how the hell am I going to establish a soul connection with our Euan?! 'Okay, okay. A phone call then.' Yes, a phone call. Late last night. To his mobile. In the tent. 'Tent?! Wow! It sounds like an Elon Musk situation. He must be working really hard. That's impressive!' No, no. It's a tent in the park, Voice, for fun, not work. They've all got tents now. 'Why?!' Look, just let me do this, man ...

Mikey! Hello, Michael. How are you doing, son? Fine, Euan. How are you? Great. Really great. I've heard you're camping out in the park now. Yeah, man. Big time. We've had some lovely nights. And during the day, if it gets too hot, we just go inside our tents for a while. Are you actually allowed to do that, Euan? I mean, camping in the park, like. Oh, we had some guy from the council come round, giving us a bit of grief. But, uh ... I just slipped him a hundred quid, you know? He lost interest in us after that. Ha! That's the way to do it, Euan! Money talks, after all. Fuckin' A it does! / Hey, why don't you pay us a visit sometime? I know all the Aviva Investors boys and girls would love to see you. I'm too busy, man. I mean, I'm either blogging or playing my guitar. I don't have a spare moment. For Christ's sake, Mikey! Life is for living. Yeah, yeah. You're nuts, man. Okay, Euan. Laters. Bye!

What a character, dear reader(s)! But as long as he's happy ... / I mean, not everyone is ambitious, you dig? And maybe Euan and the gang have got it sussed. The good life. 'It helps, boss, that those Schroders mugs are backing them up.' Yes, I suppose. Me, I'm on my own. If I don't write this blog, no one else will do it. 'I'll give it a go.' Oh, shut up! Seriously. Ha, ha, ha!


Anything else? Brexit? Well, it looks like we'll have to start buying tinned food in preparation. I don't remember that on the side of the fucking bus. Vote Leave and live on starvation rations. Doesn't sound quite as good as millions for the NHS, does it?

Well, laters.